Sunday, September 30, 2007

Week 4: The Vin Diesel Of Quarterbacks

Nacho: As I traversed what's become my post- grad Walk of Shame (1.7 miles from the bar to my apartment), I tried to come up with a adequate simile for David Carr. Luckily, drunk and stumbling is when I do my best thinking:

Vin Diesel was on the cusp of stardom after 1998's "Saving Private Ryan." He was the toast of Hollywood and the pre-eminent heir to the action superstar void left by Arnold, Sly, Bruce and Jean Claude's advancement into the autumn of their years. The world was his oyster, and Vin never realized his full potential. Rather than test his boundaries and challenge himself, Vin phoned in several performances and next thing you know, dude can only get roles in a Sydney Lumet vehicle.

At the beginning of the season I was smoking The Crack Rock That Was The David Carr signing. My rationale was that Jake Delhomme had gotten complacent because the threat of Chris Weinke did not strike terror in his heart. His complacency had tied our hands as Panther fans: Jake frustrated us to no end, but he's a damn sight better than Weinke. Ergo, when Weinke threw in the towel, I looked at it as a opportunity for Delhomme 2.0. Men, and that's Men with a capital M, still tell the tale of that fateful day in 2003 when Jake stepped in and brought the Panthers back from the brink. This summer, I had a sneaking suspicion it'd happen again.

It didn't.

Not unlike Vin Diesel before him, David Carr has failed us all. We expected better from both, and were sorely let down. We had our highlights (Iron Giant, beating the Colts) but the harsh reality is both are woefully overrated.

Brethren, got a better analogy?

Brethren: I don't think I do. I think both Carr and Vin are adqueately muscularly ghey, so I think I'm down with that analogy.

But seriously. I've been a vocal Jake supporter for quite some time. I think this game proves to all the non-believing Panthers fans out there what John Fox and Steve Smith have been trying to say for quite some time: our QB is Jake Delhomme.

But beyond the QB situation, this team is all sorts of mediocre. After watching today's game I have realized a few pressing issues. The most is the fact that only two fellers on this team actually play like they care (except Jake b/c he's fiery and Cajun and awesome): Kris Jenkins and Steve Smith.

Jenkins has publicly called out this team and nobody could miss Steve Smith yelling at the fellers upstairs on the sideline phone today. Watching through the lens of TV, it really only seems like those two guys play hard and care. That, to me, is far worse than David Carr being the Vin Deisel of QBs.

And why can't we win at home? Why do the Panthers hate their home fans?

Right now, we seem like very much the mediocre 8-8 team we were last year. Foxy likes to break down the season into quarters, and we're .500 through the first quarter of 2007. Kinda seems like the same old Panthers.

But let's hang in there folks. Our team still kicks ass*.

* Note: I may only be saying that because I just spent the past hour looking up Scrubs videos on YouTube to make myself feel better after the Panthers and Mets losses today.

1 comment:

Gridiron Goddess said...

No QB wearing Mickey Mouse gloves can be taken seriously, no matter how hot he is.