Sunday, June 29, 2008

How To Cope With The Bobcats' Draft

Nacho: How does one deal with the terrible drafting prowess the Bobcats displayed Thursday night? Remember that the Olympics are coming up, and remembering Derek Redmond.

Nacho:Can't wait for more of that shit.

Brethren: Summer Olympics also mean Beach Olympics. I lurve me some Beach Olympics. I won't partake this year, but I'll holler from my beach chair, bourbon or beer in hand. C'MON, CHASE "MICHAEL PHELPS" WITTENAUER. PROVE YOU'RE AN ATHLETE.
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Bobcat Draft Round-Up


Fuck you with pants on because you've shackled us with a Frenchman who won't put on a Bobcat jersey until long after you've gone.

Fuck you for taking Kevin Durant's ShortRound with a top 10 pick.

Fuck you for using the 2008 Draft to replace Earl Boykins and Primo Brezec.


Brethren's hatred, after...

Brethren: I am the cock-eyed optimist of the two, but even I raised an eyebrow at this draft. I'm not gonna lie, hearing Larry Brown say he "fell in love" with the Frenchie during a workout is not music to my ears. Even the renowned Europlayer lover that is Chad Ford wrote that he doesn't know any player who's ever averaged 5 points a game in France become a good NBA player.

I'm okay with DJ Augustine, but looking back probably would have preferred Brook Lopez. Same way I kinda like Morrison, but would have preferred Brandon Roy. Same way I can deal with Felton/May, but would have preferred rolling them up to take Chris Paul.

All I know is this draft is a few days old and I'm still reeling in exasperation. I try to keep the faith, but I don't know. It's tough to when these kind of decisions get made.

Hopefully DJ can prove me wrong. I'm expecting ZERO from the Frenchman. Fucking French.
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Monday, June 23, 2008

I Can Haz Lottery Pick?

Nacho: The NBA Draft is looming and the Bobcats have the ninth pick. Everyone seems to be jonesing for big man, which I wholeheartedly agree with. However, with the lottery being the way it is this year, who knows what'll be left for us.

Alls I'm saying is we've been burned by scrappy white guys before.

Either way, I hope we go big or go home. By which I mean I hope we draft a big guy or pull a J Rich and trade for someone awesome.

Brethren, your thoughts?

Nacho: Brethren's thoughts go here.

Brethren: And here they be:

I was all about the Bobcats taking Kevin Love back in March/April, but I've heard enough of that argument above from Nacho to back down a little. But then I see YouTube clips like this and I kinda wish we do draft him.

I've heard a lot about the UCLA point guard, and I think that'd be ok. But I'm definitely hoping for a big guy, so that with the 38th pick, the Bobcats pick UVA point guard Sean Singletary. Yea, he might be a little undersized, but he's a floor general who will play hard and is coachable (things Larry Brown is looking for).

So yea, if the Bobcats came away with Kevin Love and Sean Singletary, I'd be an extremely happy fan come end of draft night.
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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

And thus, the NBA's been won

Brethren: I had such faith in the Celtics last night, that I didn't even watch the game. In its stead, I let my dear sisterin take me out for her XXth birthday. I'm a nice (poor) brother like that. So we had a trendy dinner in Manhattan's Meat Packing District, content to not watch the game and let Nacho alert us with texts like, "Halftime highlights put to Pirates theme. Awesome."

Indeed, that's all I needed to know. Danny Ainge, a brilliant pirate I can only assume, pilfered Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett from the nether regions of the NBA's dredges, brought wily veterans like James Posey and PJ Brown aboard, and had them train some fresh sea legs like Rajon Rondo, Kendrick Perkins, and Leon Powe to become swash-buckling basketball privateers.

And thus, the NBA's been won.

And so we end a pretty classic NBA Season. I am quite pleased with the state of league. And hey, the Bobcats have the 9th pick in, like, a week. Let's pick the unathletic white guy! That works out!

Parting thoughts, Nacho?

Nacho: This Celtics team sticks in my craw for some reason. I have a big issue with the idea of a league being based on parity when one franchise can mortgage their future to consolidate All-Stars and make a title run. Sure, it's not against the rules or anything, but it doesn't make me like it.

I kind of feel about the Spurs, a team I dislike greatly, the way Brethren feels like the Celts. I feel like they were a team who assembled a squad that was championship caliber, and they didn't have to steal aging All-Stars to do so. Alas, like Brethren, I'm fine with the state of the NBA, as this season was an incredibly enjoyable one to watch and play fantasy leagues.

I look forward to screwing the pooch on Draft Night and/or being elated as the Bobcats trade away their first-rounder for a quality superstar.

One last note: where was the posse/entourage member of Big Baby's whom he specifically pays to make sure he doesn't end up in childlike poses with championship trophies? Really dropped the ball there.
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Sunday, June 15, 2008

Good Lord, Tiger

Brethren: My Lord. I have never watched a golf match with such a drama overwhelming me: the tight chest, shortened breath, a "holy shit" sense hanging over my head. Tiger, on a day where he clearly was affected by his knee, on a day where he couldn't find a fairway, icily corrals a 12-15 foot birdie putt on the 72nd hole of the U.S. Open to force a Monday grudge match against the incredibly likeable Rocco Mediate.

I cannot even fathom how much focus, faith, and gigantic balls it took to make that putt. To put into perspective how tough the U.S. Open is, this is the first time in 4 years that a golfer posted a below-par score over 72 holes. This is the toughest stage in arguably the most mental tough game. You play enough golf, you know how mentally shaky you can become when you tell yourself you have to make a putt -- to win a bet, to beat your dad, to beat your buddy. It's silly how much you can psyche yourself out.

Tiger, through faith in his ability, through incredibly hard work, through a disposition that makes him hate the "snooze" button, simply does not let the game of golf get the better of him. It is unreal.

It's one thing to be so well conditioned and have such natural athletic ability to dominate a sport. You have to be a special person to have the mental toughness and killer instinct to perform at such a high level with the stakes so high. I can't think of another athlete like him in my lifetime besides Michael Jordan.

Tiger fights to keep his perfect "will win the major when leading after 54 holes" sreak tomorrow at 12 PM EST.

Image courtesy of Getty Images via

If we can get in touch with Nacho, perhaps he'll add a thought or so after

Brethren (cont'd): Oh, and pre-emptive apologies to my employer and my client for my lack of productivity from 12-4 tomorrow. Tiger does this to us golf fans.
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West Coast Bias

Brethren: Where the hell does NBC get off showing coverage of the 3rd Round of the 108th US Open past 8 PM EST on a Saturday? Don't they know I had B.Y.O.B. reservations at a Thai restaurant at 9 PM and therefore was not going be able to see Tiger?

West Coast Bias.

But seriously, that was an unreal performance on a Saturday at the U.S. Open. I doubt that there's even much of a need to play today's fourth round -- who is going to pass Tiger on a Sunday at the U.S. Open after he put together that back nine on Saturday? Two eagles and a birdie on a gimp knee in the last six holes. And two of those three scores came after horrendous drives off the tee. ESPN Video has a full hole-by-hole recap of his round

More of Tiger's brilliance, desde

Brethren (cont'd): The most underrated part of Tiger's day was his approach shots that kept him lurking in the early part of the day. He hit a groove somewhere around the turn that put him in a position to do his Tiger thing on 13, 17, 18. I say Tiger thing, because there isn't a living (or dead?) person alive who can do what he did on those last six holes on a golf course.

On the 614-yard par 13, from the rough, hitting over the green onto the fringe. The same green that it took Phil Mickelson as its bitch, giving him a Mickey Cloud-esque quadruple bogey 9 on the hole. Then, Tiger putts the 50 foot eagle shot with a huge right to left break and he nails it.

On the par four 17, a wayward tee shot gives him no chance but to put it into greenside rough, which of course, he one hops off the pin and into the hole. He even started laughing because he knows these are things golfers just don't do! And he caps it off by nailing another eagle putt on 18 -- and there's not much I can say about that one because he did it the "normal" way -- fairway, shot to 25 feet, sink the putt.

Oh yeah, and he was doing this on a surgically repaired knee that was giving him fits and would mentally destroy any human golfer.

Just absurd. Just Tiger.

Ed. note: Forgot to hit Publish when I wrote this at 11 AM ET. Whoops.
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Sunday, June 8, 2008

Some Historical Perspective

Nacho: When I think back to the epic Lakers/Celtics series from the 80s, I distinctly remember my thoughts on the topic: adding cinnamon to apple sauce creates a nectar of the Gods.

Since both Brethren were still in shorts pants during Magic and Bird's tussles, we'll pass the mic to Cap'n Pappy.

Cap'n Pappy: So, Elvis is in the Army in Germany. The biggest sports event of the era (baseball's World Series) for the first time in forever did not feature the Yankees (White Sox of Nellie Fox, Rudy LaRusso, and Luis Aparicio) but did feature the newest twist in US sports: a professional team on the West Coast (Dodgers of Koufax, Drysdale and Maury Wills). The NFL championship had settled into a dynasty (the Colts beat the New York football Giants in a rematch of the greatest NFL game every played: the Sudden Death Colts victory of Unitas, Raymond Berry, and Alan "The Horse" Ameche). It's 28 degrees in February and yet it's the perfect weather for copying Bob Cousy's behind the back dribble/pass and Elgin Baylor's one hand free throws on the basketball hoop nailed to the garage.

The rest of his thoughts, after...

Cap'n Pappy cont'd The infancy of what would become the NBA's greatest rivalry was just hatching. The MINNEAPOLIS (Great) Lakers of NBA Rookie of the Year Elgin Baylor, Vern Mikkelsen, Rudy LaRusso (yes the baseball player), Hot Ro d Hundley, and Frank Selvy (Yes, that Frank Selvy: the only collegiate basketball player in history to score 100 pts in a game: for Furman against Newberry College) were up against the Boston Celtics of Cousy, Russell, Howell, Sharman, Gene Conley (yes the Red Sox pitcher),the Jones boys, and Satch Sanders (an old version of Cornbread Maxwell).

Why has David Stern wanted so much to have today's Celtics & Lakers back on the court? Well, KG vs Kobie was preceded not only by Chamberlain/Russell and Kareem/McHale. But by Jerry West against Bob Cousy; by Hondo Havlicek, Larry Siegfried, and Don Nelson (yes that Don Nelson) against Elgin Baylor, Gail Goodrich, and Walt Hazzard. Realize that the Celtics were in the NBA finals 11 of 13 years during that time. and the Lakers were their only serious rivals (except for when Wilt was with the 76'ers). This is without mentioning the 80's teams of Magic and Bird (oh and Michael Cooper, Worthy, Byron Scott, AC Green, and Rambo). Possibly the most impressive hit ever recorded on hardwood was a product of this rivalry: the clothesline takedown of Rambis by McHale as Rambis attempts a snowbird layup. In the 1962 finals against the Lakers, Russell pulled down FORTY!!!! rebounds in one game. (Only surpassed by Wilt's 41 rebounds in 1967) Oh yes, and the steal of the inbounds pass that we always hear Johnny Most's overdubbed yelling about Bird pulling off.

That is just a ghostly echo of Havlicek's feat, the game of Dr J and MJ is directly descendant from Elgin Baylor.

Some historical perspective from Capn Pappy.
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Thursday, June 5, 2008

We Write A Sports Blog

Brethren: It's about time to get back on this horse.

I have several topics I want to cover, that I've let stew up inside of me and I'll blame travel to far off places like Minneapolis, Atlantic City, and the District of Columbia for the reason why I haven't written for a while.

Enough of that though: I've got thoughts. I've got a blog. Here we go:

1. The Finals are here: Game One is in progress; it's close; Boston players are trying to do their best impression of Willis Reed, hobbling out of the locker room in the second half.

I won't go into any full in-depth analysis because there's nothing I can write that hasn't been said. The Cap't'll be along shortly to give us youngins the historical perspective, but I grew up with Michael Jordan, not Magic and Bird. So Lakers/Celtics is that vaguely important piece of history that you know you should know more about, but unless it happened to you then it's just something you know about, not something you experienced. You know, like the The Great Depression.

Avoid lightning bolts and read more NBA thoughts with me, after:

Brethren (cont'd): 2. I tweet'd earlier today how I liked where Rick Bonnell's head is at. I normally do. The commenters give him a lot shit, he takes it in stride, and does a good job as the only beat writer out there who follows the Bobcats. He also writes a mildly entertaining Sunday column about baseball -- entertaining in that it's probably the only non-AP written MLB story all week that goes into the Charlotte Observer sports section.

This morning, Bonnell threw out the argument that the Bobcats should go after 'Sheed. I love this idea. I love that Sheed calls our new coach, "Pounds," because his initials are LB. I think Sheed and G-Force will instantly become really close, that Okafor can be the Ben Wallace/McDyess character, and our backcourt can mature. I love that the Bobcats would only be taking a one-year risk because Sheed's only got one more year on his contract.

Add 'Sheed without giving up Okafor, G-Force, J-Rich, and RayRay and I think you have to make that trade. Rick, I like where your head's at. Bring Sheed back to the Kakkalak.

Ok, Game One's almost over. I gotta go pay attention to that. We'll back with Panthers stories, some baseball thoughts, and more NBA in the coming days, weeks, months.

Also, Fearless Leader: don't forget about your promise to us and the Panthers preview. Don't you forget.
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