Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Where We Stand on The Great Debate: NFL or NCAA Football

Brethren: I have often spent many a minute, hour, day, and moon wondering where I stand exactly on the great debate: Which is better: The NFL or NCAA football? Nacho and my's increasingly favorite writer on these here interwebs expressed both sides in exquisite prose on his Debriefing this week: one showing how the great App State win captured our hearts and imaginations and the other reminding just how much better of a pro product the NFL is than all the other leagues.

So where do we stand? Well, not unlike how I go back and forth on whether Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johansson gets to be my first ex-wife, I often pledge alliagance to the NFL one day -- only to give my heart to NCAA the next.

We try to break our love down for the NFL and College once and for all. At least until tomorrow. Follow us, thru:

Brethren (cont'd): So first I reckon I should rightly explain my College and NFL allegiances, so we all can follow along with the proverbial bouncing ball.

Now, in college, I claim two teams, the Florida Gators and the Virginia Cavaliers -- and I ran that by the irreverant, underground fellers at Page 2, and I'm a-ok because I qualify under College Football Fan Rules 1a(a) and 1a(c). I qualify for Rule 1a(a) because I grew up in a Gator household, my grandparents have been regulars at the Swamp for nearly 40 plus years, I've documented the Mecca pilgrimage, and the Gators are 8-0 lifetime when I go to games.
I qualify for UVa because I just dun graduamacated from dat dere second-best Sckewl of Bidness in the whole States of the United.

And as glorious as the past weekend was for college football as a whole -- the one weekend a year where it completely dominates the weekend without the NFL around -- I just am a little disgusted by one of my schools right now -- and (gasp!) it's not the defending national champs. Yes, I am estatic about how dominant Tebow was, how ridiculous Pearcy Harvin is, and how I'm very much okay with the fact that the Gators will have to win every game 56-52 -- which they can.

But UVA? Seriously, what a disappointing, frustrating Era we're in. And right now, two ex-New-York-NFL guys are disgusting me. The first one: our coach, the expontentially less-likeable-especially-when-he-doesn't-win Al Groh. I'm just glad Michigan got whupped so bad; otherwise, everyone would have noticed just how embarrassingly UVA got beat this weekend. Oh wait; they did (from the Forde Yard Dash to the random Commenters over at our sugar momma's site).

Then there's Tiki. Yea, you and I have a degree from the same school within UVA. And yes, you donated over a $1 million to said school. But dude, you're making our stomachs turn right now. Stop making excuses and throwing people under the bus just to help your new career. I always did like Ronde more (and yes, that started because on College Football USA '96 Ronde was just dirty.)

The thing is, neither Groh nor Tiki's going away. Groh, because for some reason our Athletic Department gave him a (Dr. Cox it wih me now) haaa-uu-uu-uu-uuuuge extension two years ago when he didn't deserve it and Tiki, because he sells Cadillacs and has a pretty face. But the thing is, the Tiki thing doesn't really do much besides make me a little uncomfortable he's representing The University. The Groh-staying-around thing makes me downright angry that he's making me apathetic: as long as he's there and we keep underachieving and the home losses to Western Michigan keep happening and he keeps up the "I'm better than you; don't question me" attitude he has towards the media, I lose a little more interest. And I don't want to lose interest -- I really don't. But right now, I'd just rather focus on the Gators.

So while I channel my college spirits on the Gators and all of their glory, I still just am too apathetic towards UVA for the NCAA to take over the NFL for chief sport/love of my heart. The Panthers have no losses on their record right now. Possibilities are endless. Dreams are boundless.

But at the end of the day, if for some reason the Big Man upstairs is angry at me this weekend and the Panthers lose in St. Louis, I'll be a terrible drunk to be around on Sunday. And Monday. And all the way until we play Houston the following Sunday. The UVA loss to Wyoming didn't nearly elicit such a depressing emotion from me (and the Gators haven't lost in a while, so I can't accurately judge that sort of pain right now).

And that's how I judge the great debate: My depression, pain, and bitterness at the world is just a good bit better when the Panthers lose -- and the elation that much higher when they win -- and that's how I know.

Verdict (for today): NFL.

Nacho: 1998-2003.

That was my Blue Period. Those were my Howard-Hughes-in-a-penthouse-with-the-creepy-fingernails period. Movies had stolen my heart. It was all because of 1997. Most will remember that as the year of the Titanic, I remember it for the glorious fall, leading up till the end of the year. There was such a multitude of good cinema out that fall, I plumb forgot about the Panthers. By this point I was so enamored nothing, not even sports, could hold my attention.

Then it happened.

My senior year of college started out like any other. The film school convened in a theater and we were given a rousing, inspiring speech to fill our hearts and minds with the swollen potential for the coming year. As we rose from our seats my buddy Irish looked over excited and asked, "You gonna join us?" My answer would change the course of my life.

I joined them.

We went to the Metal Rebel which, I found out through their MySpace page, has since closed down. Metal Rebel was a bar attached to a biker shop and it had a lot of room and showed Monday Night Football on big projection screens. They served 25 cent baskets of wings and 2 dollar pitchers. We would regularly run up tabs of over 150 dollars. Our group would swell to over 20, or it'd be just the boys, but every week on Monday we'd waddle through the doors, announce our return and get blind, stinking drunk. We would drink every time they cut to SkyCam, we'd drink for every score, we'd drink every time Lisa Guerrero came on tv and we'd have to yell "NO BUSINESS BEING IN FOOTBALL!"

even Namath wouldn't kiss you, you saucy harlot.

As the days got shorter and the weeks got longer, the Panthers had this Cajun feller leading them on fourth quarter comebacks the likes of which you've never seen.

That February I hosted a Super Bowl party at my childhood home 'cuz mammy and the Cap'n were in Houston, attending the game. With one friend's bloody, bionic leg dripping everywhere we watched in awe as the Pats fell behind for the first time in months, Janet flashed some titty (thanks TiVo!) and Vinatieri became one the Hugh Jackman to my Dr. Cox (two Scrubs references in one post; lucky you.)

This is all a roundabout way of saying that having grown up in an ACC Hoops/SEC Football house my entire life, I can't seem to muster up as much fervor for the college boys as I once could. Only college can provide us with something like last years Fiesta Bowl, but there's only one reason a bar called Big Wangs replaces the Methodist church, and that's football. Most people look at me like a dog that's been showed a card trick (ht: BOC) when I tell them I willingly wake up at 8:30am every Sunday during the fall out here in Los Angeles, but I know I've got a good reason, maybe the best reason of all:

My Panthers are on.

Johnn Drama shouts VICTORY for: NFL


Gridiron Goddess said...

OH where do I start, boys?

Brethren, I LOL'd at the sugar momma comment. So Nacho told you that y'all are now a wholly owned subsidiary of my media empire then? ;)

Nacho, FOR SHAME. I WILL TURN YOU YET. You've only watched ONE SC game with this CRAZY Trojan. There are 11 more. Plus the Nat'l Championship.

Oh yes, I WENT THERE. Even as lackluster as my boys from Troy looked last weekend, I WENT THERE.

Brethren--I have been compiling research for a Groh skewering piece on my site. :)


Only in the NCAA would you get a tribute site like this:

Oh wait, right...your Panthers cheerleaders are professional felons, right?

Well...back to working on my Song Girl Halloween Costume then. ;)


Gridiron Goddess said...
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