Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Slippery Slopes: Panthers Sign Kenyatta Walker

Occasionally, we'll read something and get into an iChat conversation where we take a subject and run. We gleefully ride the Slippery Slope.

Today's episode: Panthers signing of Kenyatta Walker

Nacho: David J. Warner, the beat Cats writer at the FanHaus, points out something interesting today about the recent signing of Kenyatta Walker. He purports that the Cats signed Walker for the purpose of firing up Julius Peppers because Walker has a history of sketchy play.

This got the Sports Brethren thinking: how else could this plan of attack be applied to our favorite teams?

Some suggestions:

- Trade for Warren Sapp and switch him to the O-line, so that Kris Jenkins has a chance to clean his soul.

- Have Kerry Collins stand on the sidelines with a sixer of Natty Light (yea, he's keeping it Natural in the Carolinas), drunkenly yelling about how much better he could run the offense.

(Ed. note: Julius & Kenyatta should've been an early 90s R&B group.)

A few more suggestions on this slippery slope, after

- Someone find Rex Chapman to ride the bench next to Adam Morrison, quietly whispering, "Trust me, facial hair can only take you so far..."

Brethren: I too think this idear has legs. Let's see, we could:

- Re-sign practice squad WR Anthony Bright so he can tell Steve Smith how much faster Taye Biddle Diddle is than him. And inform Smith that he punches like a girl. That should go over well.

- Buy out Xerxes from his Persian squad to come play for the Varsity Spartan softball team, to properly motivate Leonidas. That game against the boy-loving Athenians is coming up soon and we can't have Leonidas swinging at first-pitch balls that high and away.

- Hire that linguistic broad from Airplane! to translate Jake's frustrated Cajun rants to Keary Colbert and Dwayne Jarrett. "Hollywood" Ryan Kalil can translate their bewildered Trojan looks for Jake.

- Steal SuperHugo from the Hornets. He belong in Charlotte, dammit.

We welcome your thoughts in the Comments. Care to ride the Slippery Slope? Or a Slip-N-Slide? Both? Me too. Me too.

(hat tip: FanHaus)


Gridiron Goddess said...

OK boys, you wanna know how to get thru to Jarrett?


hee. I kid not, there is a well documented Dwayne Jarrett crush on the Gridiron Goddess. I probably still even have his phone #. lol!

Trey said...

Dudes, isn't that what that european team did by signing Freddy Adu?

Maybe thats what John Daly was doin' sayin' that he was in better shape than tiger....