Saturday, August 4, 2007

The Outer Banks

Brethren: I have now been lucky enough to enjoy Heaven On Earth (aka the Outer Banks of the greatest state in the Union) since late Thursday evening. I'm currently situated at the new (rented) beach house of the Cloud family, handling a Silver Bullet, with Cory Morrow's "Nashville Blues" on the iPod player. Life might not get better. How does this all relate to the grand world we call "sports"? Well, in my short time here, I've learned a lot in my first beach visit since joining the Real World (not MTV, but the world where one must adjust your 1-10 ranking of the ladies by two a 4 to Garza back at UVa is now a 6 that he lusts after). So what have I learned? Follow me through...

In my youth of 21 (read: 18 months ago), I wrote a column for the Cavalier Daily back when I fancied myself a real live journalist about how sports and the beach are interrelated. I would link to the column, but the Internet dudes at the CavDaily never really liked me for some reason, and pretty much stopped posting my columns to the site's database. I never raised enough fuss about that; fortunately, I still have the column on this here computador, and so I can still make my point.

Let's look at what I wrote back then, and enjoy a hearty laugh at how naive and young I was.

I’ve never been able to spend a day on the beach without breaking out a football, Wiffle bat and ball, and yes, I’m ashamed to admit it, a soccer ball. It’s impossible not enjoy a sunny day on the beach without sports involved.
HA! Are you kidding, Mickey of 21? What?! I fooled you the past two days, my friend! I have realized I only have a few days here at the beach, so I made sure my priorities have been straight: 1) Drink as much as possible 2) Eat as much as possible 3) Read a book 4) Watch 300 and laugh at the "boy-loving Athenians."

At the wise old age of 22, with a real job, and a real Manhattan rent to pay, I just can't find time for the Mickey of 21. Sports?! On the beach?! No, thank you, sir. I'll take beer, naps, and books over that combo any day of the week.

So while I do love my Deadspin, my, and the allure of being young, I really couldn't care less about engaging in sports whilst on my one summer vacation to the heaven that is the Outer Banks. And if that means I'm now old and haggard and will never be the youthful, energetic stud I was once, that's fine by me.

At least I'll be drunk.

Nacho: I'll only throw two cents up in this bitch, because for the first time in my entire life, I'm not attending the family trip to the Outer Banks. Instead, I went to Costa Rica by myself for a week. That was my beach time.

Thusly, I'll be brief: I always enjoyed the healthy competition that abounded at our family trips to the beach. It taught us humility, determination and sportsmanship. It also taught us that grown-ups, given the chance, will lie, cheat and steal to win. All these were important life lessons. Anyway, I hope to be back next year, but for now, I've re-joined the working force and my dogs are barkin'.


Michael said...

you write purdy

Jarrett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ron Burgundy said...

Real creative there Barbie-taking an uncalled for pot shot at soccer. Haven't seen any sports writers do that ever.

Trey said...

Dood, Brethren, you TOTALLY threw the football around at the beach with Austin, Nate and I. Shenanigans!