Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Bad Idea Jeans & Marcellus Morris

Nacho: Funny story, the matriarch of the SportsBrethren forbid both Brethren from watching the film "Pulp Fiction" until we were both at least 15. This was not because of the rampant drug use, graphic violence, or salty language. No, it was because our dear mother fought tooth and nail to ensure that her baby boys never knew anything about sodomy. Yep, the male rape scene was the ONLY thing Mammy objected to us seeing.

Naturally, when we both finally did see it (long before our 15th birthdays) the male raping barely registered a blip on our radars. We were entirely too engrossed with all the surrounding badassery to care about the butt pirates. In fact, the only thing we really remember about the scene is that Bruce Willis uses a samurai sword to TCB.

I bring up Marcellus Wallace and his anus because it would appear that someone else named Marcellus is into some no-so-legal things in Charlotte these days. Namely, stealing cars. His most recent victim: Panther rookie Jeff Otah.

A word of advice to Mr. Marcellus Morris: I sincerely hope you have high-tailed it outta Charlotte. Pulling two guns on a 6'6", 340 pound dude usually doesn't end well for anyone.

For a brief description of the fate the SportsBrethren imagine is in Marcellus Morris's future, follow us, after...

Caution: foul language afoot!

Brethren: I have to admit: my mind did not immediately go to the Gimp scene from Pulp Fiction when hearing about Jeff Otah's theft. But that's what makes the big guy the big guy. Well served, Nacho.

We gots to get around to our Offense side of the ball previews and we've got about a week and a half to do it. We're on it.

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