Saturday, July 12, 2008

It's July! Football's coming soon!

Brethren: Is it really July 11th? That means football is nary but a few scant weeks from training camp, which means the Panthers are that much closer to my life, which means a very real and important part of my being becomes a little more alive.

And fortunately for the Brethren, the Carolina Panthers have more than enough going on where their name gets brought up in all sorts of media conversations.

First off, there's the Favre thing. Now he's not my one true hate -- which may be one of the most thoroughly readable, relatable, and enjoyable columns about the goodness of hate ever -- but he's certainly not my starting quarterback. And this is important: I think I can say for most Panthers fans, that "Brett Favre making Brett Favre plays" is not what we want come September when we take the field for the first time in 2008 in the Whale's Vagina.

I want Jake Delhomme feeling spry as the chicken that becomes the delicious Bojangles' chicken biscuit. Dammit, Jake's our Biscuit Avenger! He's our boy to love unconditionally. He may not be the best quarterback out there, but fuck it, he's ours. He's fiery. He's Cajun. He and the most talented, tenacious player on our team, Steve Smith, have a great relationship -- on the field and off. He's taken us to the Super Bowl (when was the last time Favre did that?). Our team fell apart last year without him. He has earned the right to be the starting quarterback of this team.

So no, Brett Favre, you are not welcome to come in and try to fuck that up. I'll gladly take you as long as you know you're second fiddle to Jake Delhomme. Yes, Mr. All-Time TD and Passing Yards Record Holder, if you dare come here, you dare to hold a clipboard.

This is Jake's team.

More Panthers musings, desde

Brethren: Ugh, glad we got that out of the way. Fortunately, there's even more to talk about the Panthers. Like, for instance, the 2008 season!

It's fucking sweet the season's right around the corner. And while that might not technically be true because we're still a solid 8 weeks away from a meaningful game, it definitely is that part of the year where my brain says, "Oh shit, is that the hot July air I smell? That means football players should be sweating in Spartanburg soon!"

Nacho and I will be rolling out our full Panthers previews in the coming weeks, but rest assured, this team is on our minds. The Panthers historically play best when no one expects them to do well -- which is why I hated this software -- but we're getting to the point that, as we enter the 14th season of this franchise's history, I enter July honestly believing we're winning it all.

Because the Panthers will. They've got Jake at QB, Smitty and Moose out wide, a barn full of speedy, hard-hitting linebackers, the sleeping giant that is Pep, a bruising rookie RB to complement the speedy and fantastically mustiachoed DeAngelo Wiliams, and the Fox/Hurney era with a sense of urgency ne'er seen before. Yes, ladies and gents, 2008 is the year the Carolina Panthers will dominate the NFL.

Welcome to it.

Nacho: I"m gonna let y'all in on a lil secret. Ever since Football ended, I still get up redonkulously early on the weekends. Why? Through the magic of transference I've redirected my love of the pigskin, into a love of the Food Network. Seeing as how ESPN will shove this Favre silliness down our throats for the next four weeks, I figure I'll need something to keep me occupied. Take that ESPN; my ass belongs to the Neelys!

Luckily, my fattening infatuation will pass soon and I can get back to the real work at hand, blindly loving the greatest football squad in all the land. As an added bonus, it would appear yours truly will be in attendance for the season opener, seeing as how Komrad Goodell was nice enough to ask the Panthers to come out to San Diego for week 1. Don't think for a second I've forgotten all those Panthers/Redskins games where Norv was at the helm. First guarantee of the season: Panthers beat the Chargers in their own house. Take that to the bank!

There's lots to cover over the coming weeks, and you can rest assured the Brethren are on top of it all. Favre's welcome to come to Carolina, as long as he's only employed after The Defender of Fresh Biscuits goes down. Not unlike poo, he's number two.

Strap in and enjoy an overflowing amount of coverage of a small market team with few ties outside of the geographical headquarters.

And now, there's much to do before I head out to go see the one and only Ricky Gervais.

1 comment:

Gridiron Goddess said...

da da da da da Hear that? That's the Trojans coming to annihilate the UVA Cavaliers. August 30th bitches.

-Your Gridiron Goddess