Saturday, July 26, 2008

It's July! Football's coming soon! D-BACKS EDITION

Nacho: About a month ago, I went to see a production of "A Chorus Line" in downtown Los Angeles. Ostensibly, I was there because a fellow former Hawk was in the show, but afterwards, I found myself thinking quite deeply about the show.

Let me abundantly clear: "A Chorus Line" is the gayest musical I've ever seen. If you had absolutely no experience with live theater, and went to see "A Chorus Line" you would undoubtedly walk away with the certainty that everyone involved in the arts is damaged, gay, and obnoxiously emotional...which is pretty much what you can say about a football fan during the summer.

Except the gay thing. I love boobs.

So, without further ado, lets move onto Training Camp. First practice starts today, and if there's anyone in Spartanburg singing "Got I hope I get it. How many boys does he need?" it's definitely, the D-Backs.

Nacho cont'd: Currently, the Panthers roster lists fourteen different Cornerbacks and Safeties. Methinks not all of them will make the final cut. So, in the interest of boredom, lets talk about the favorites:

Ken Lucas, CB: He took over as emotional leader for the squad last year and did alright by it. He's a steady cover guy, makes tackles, and will be an great asset for the 3 rooks. I can't wait for the first time Kenny does something that makes me bolt upright from table, causing all the booze to spill.

Chris Gamble, CB: Chris lives up to his name. He's just as likely to make me spew expletives as he is to make me make some wildly irrational argument for his inclusion onto the Supreme Court. Gamble guarantees for the year: he will miss coverage, he will miss tackles, but he will be a deciding factor in at least two wins this year.

Richard Marshall, CB: Marshall's consistently shown improvement in his three years in the league. He's got some of the best pivot feet I've seen since Rik Smits and when he makes a move on a lazy pass, you can take it to the bank that he'll come down with it. His 5'11" stature hasn't been that big of a problem, but it just feels like all the receivers are 6'5" these days.

Chris Harris, S: Finally, a Safety. Chris Harris runs like a gazelle, can chase down any of the leading RBs in the league, and generally has a pretty good move on the ball. He'll cause consternation and frustration but there's hardly a better Alamo/Last Line of Defense I'd want more.

Terrence Holt, S: Terrence anchors the safety position for the Cats. He's a seasoned vet, he's a local boy from Greensboro, and I just feel better knowing at least one player on the field has sweet tea coursing through his veins.

Charles Godfrey, S: We took him in the third round, so he better cause no less than four boners this season. He had a breakout year last year and seems like a sniper. Chaz probably has the best chance to the BEASTon of the D Backs this year.

Joe Fields, Darren Toney, CJ Wilson These guys are all young, and could potentially blossom into players, but only time will tell.

Ricardo Colclough, CB: Easily the team's resident ladies' man. Just on the squad to teach Dante Wesley, Quinton Teal, Nate Salley, and Curtis Deloatch how to take down sluts.


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