Thursday, March 27, 2008

It Got Hot In Thurr

Nacho: The sun shines pretty bright out here in Southern California, but on a day like today, it shines even brighter. Last night, I got to witness the Charlotte Bobcats come in and destroy the Lakers at the Staples Center. It was glorious, despite the no-show on Adam Morrison's part. It's cool though; I still wore my Morristache shirt into the office today. Neat factoid: I played as many minutes as Adam did in both games played in LA this season. Hooray, season-ending injuries!

It was a glorious evening, one surrounded on all sides by Laker fans. I like Laker fans. They're not egregious assholes and their extreme knowledgeable. I sat next to a pair of fellers who consistently pointed out all the failings of the Lakers and their breadth of info kept me both informed, and immensely pleased with the Cats performance. I tried to keep the relish from my hotdog off of them.

The rest of the recap, and an explanation as to why Pam Anderson didn't want her child watching this sort of filth, after...

Nacho cont'd: The Cats went 2-0 this season when playing in Los Angeles on weeknights with me in attendance. I'm no statistician, but even I can clearly see how much better I make this team. I dress in full uniform (thanks for coordinating with the blue, guys. I looked like an ass at the Clippers game.) I really feel like what I bring to the table is vital and inspiring. These titans travel across an entire continent to play a game, and when they arrive they're greeted with disdain and inherent hatred. It does their soul good to see a fanatic from their hometown, all the way out here. It warms the cockles of their hearts, and it makes J Rich wanna drain threes.

And drain threes did J Rich.

The game was exceptionally fun for both Bobcats fans (I count me and Nelly.) The refs let a lot of fouls on both sides go, but the truth was inescapable: the Lakers, sans Bynum and Gasol have NO ONE who can match up in the middle. Nazr and Mek had their way with Tiny Turiaf and I'd have to take off my shoes cuz I'd run out of fingers if I tried to count the times Matt freaking Carroll drove the lane with positive results. On defense G Wall shut down Kobe, who had J Rich sniping at his ankles every time he touched the ball. Their double-teams obliterated whatever offensive game plan Phil Jackson had. Combine that with terrible shot selection, usually pretty early in the shot clock, by Vlad, Sasha and Rony and you've got yourself the fixin's for a down home, ol' fashioned Bobcats win.

As the final buzzer sounded I'd already positioned myself in a prime spot for high-fives. I knew without Morrison there was little need for me to have brought the camera I had borrowed, but I doled out hearty fives all the same. Ryan Hollins saw me, laughed, and exclaimed "Hey look, Adam dressed, too." Matt Carroll gave me his arm sleeve. It looked, smelt and felt like an oversized, soiled condom, and I will treasure it with all my heart. With Carroll's arm sleeve and Jeff McInnis's headband I'm slowly constructing the perfect Bobcat/Frankenstein hybrid.

So to all the fans that came out and got to watch Kobe creep ever closer to that fateful one-game suspension for too many Technical Fouls: sorry. Your team is 1-5 against the Bobcats in their history. We absolutely own your ass, and we're not giving it back any time soon, as evidenced by the great play of Jared Dudley, Carroll and Ray Ray.

Extra special sauce goes to J Rich who not only elevated his team, but also a couple of my fantasy teams as well. We're in the playoffs here, people, respect where it's due.

Pam sat real close to where I was. I'm guessing
this pic has more to do with Laker girls routines than
Vlad Rad's horrific shooting, but could be either.

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