Monday, March 3, 2008

Don't Bring Your Fists To A Whiffle Bat Fight

Nacho: While it pains me to write this post, it had to be done.

People, we've been over this. Don't bring your fists to a whiffle bat fight. That's right, the esteemed learning institution that the SportsBrethren owned is in the news, and it ain't good publicity. Seems some kids got in a fight over a whiffle ball game and one dude ended up unconscious.

Naturally, the Chattanooga PD put their best cop on the case, Kim Noorbergen. Nice try, Kim, but we all see right through your alias:

Kim Noorbergen's dad?

More shenanigans, after...

Nacho cont'd: Tempers flare and emotions run high in the valley below Lookout Mountain. You've got a deadly mixture of hormones, boner-inducing scenery, and rednecks. It's a cocktail of a powder keg of high gravity situations. It was only a matter of time before someone snapped and some kid ended up in the hospital.

I did expect better from the whiffle ball crowd though. Sure, you expect these kind of tiffs on the high-octane fields of Flickerball or the Football Jumbo Jamboree, but not whiffle ball.

This is a message directly for the fine, young men of McCallie: shape up, or you will not receive......A BIG COOKIE


all_about_everything said...


Maybe if kids will start reading and commenting about sports, it will direct their energy from violence to something productive.
Take this site for example:
It has almost every sporting event in articles, news and online videos. This can keep any kid occupied.

Nacho Friendly said...

thank AAE, I'm all about kids. Delicious, tender kids.

Woodrow Wilson said...

I have seen this with my own eyes. The thing is sometimes when your friends are razzing you about missing a few grounders it just makes sense to wind up and hit them with a whiffle ball bat as hard as you can. It doesn’t matter if you are a grown man they deserve it even if it leaves a huge yellow welt on their back.

I Dream of Gionta said...

I agree with mr. wilson. whiffle ball, like high school lacrose, is a difficult game and sometimes the proper way to take out your aggression is by assaulting one of your best friends in the spine. Like the old saying goes, "if you can't beat them (at the game), beat them with a bat".