Better Know A Beaver

Nacho: Word just came down the pipeline that Cardinals fans and Panther fans have a little something in common. It seems neither team's Week 1 starting QB felt much like finishing out the season. Luckily for the Cards, Tim "TIMMEH!" Rattay is available.

Personally, this won't detract in the least bit from my enjoyment of this weekend's matchup, but I will admit I was kinda hoping to see Vinny T under center. That woulda been cool.

As for the Panthers, I've got my life preserver on, and I want only one man commanding this lifeboat: King Beav Matt Moore. Our mancrush expands, after..



Nacho cont'd: The scariest part of watching David Carr play--besides those insufferable gloves; I have it on good authority he likes to pretend he's Mickey Mouse-- is his interminable loitering in the pocket. The long and the short of it is, David Carr simply isn't a good quarterback.

I may be nothing more than an unfrozen caveman football fan, but I know that David Carr couldn't defuse a bomb if there was only one wire to cut...

Which is why I'd like to officially throw my support behind someone younger than me. The only other time this has happened, it resulted in a funny O face in a newspaper. Sorry Miley, but my lust for youth has been transferred onto the capable shoulders of Matt Moore, third-string extraordinaire.

Not much is known of this shadowy figure. He stands 6'4", and I'm apt to admire that, because, see, a Great American Hero & personal savior of mine, once stood that tall...and kilt fiddy men. Fun Fact: Moore was drafted by the Los Angeles Angels of GotSwept back in 2004 in the 22nd round. Wow. 22nd round. That's a long wait.

Luckily for us, Matt spurned that pastoral sport, and gained the starting QB spot for the Oregon State Beaves. During his tenure he completed 183 passes without a interception. I'm fairly certain David Carr once went an entire series of downs without an interception, but I'd have to check some facts first.

Anyway, I just wanted to welcome Matt Moore onto the SportsBrethren's radar. You join the ranks of Ryan Kalil. Perhaps on a team bus, you two can discuss which SportsBrethren's dreamier (hint: the bearded one).

While watching "In The Line Of Fire" I got an idea of how to take out Carr without getting caught by pesky metal detectors.* That oughta leave a smirk on Matt's face...

Am I crazy, or does he look a lot like
the guy from "Life on a Stick"?

Brethren: While I'm certainly a bit more than concerned now that my fiery Cajun's on the IR and I'm not exactly thrilled by the prospect of being led by The Hair, I can't jump wholeheartedly on the Matt Moore Bandwagon, as driven by Nacho, just yet.

Nacho did have a Dark Ages as a Panthers fan, so I can forgive him for not remembering the likes of Dameyune Craig, Randy Fasani, Rod Rutherford, Jeff Lewis, and Stefan LeFors -- all third-string QBs who showed "promise" and we're always popular because they weren't Chris Weineke, Jake Delhomme, or Steve Beuerlein. Fasani and Craig I particularly remember as the two who everybody loved for their preseason lore, but couldn't do anything if ever given a chance in the regular season.

And seeing as I hate the Pac-10, I don't really know if I can load onto the Matt Moore Bandwagon just yet. I'm willing to give The Hair a chance for the next couple of weeks. I still have high hopes for the season; this team showed some guts this past week. Ugly guts, but guts nonetheless.



AWESOME UPDATE: The SportsCousin, Treyseph, and I got into a debate about whether or not Tuesday Morning QuarterBack is good or not. The end result was that it good, just no good for office crowd. Too long. Anyway, here's the awesome part, as glommed from TMQ,

"Jaws Note: With Jake Delhomme and David Carr hurt, undrafted rookie quarterback Matt Moore made a brief appearance for the Panthers. On draft day in April, Ron Jaworski said Moore was the best quarterback prospect after JaMarcus Russell, Brady Quinn and Trent Edwards. All NFL general managers ignored Jaws' advice, yet now there has been a Matt Moore sighting. And speaking of JaMarcus Russell and Brady Quinn, are they in the NFL."

Additional Update: Fellow Charlottean Mel asks, "What's Chris Leak up to?" About five foot ten. ZING!




*Ed's note: we're not really planning on killing David Carr this weekend. We wouldn't want to mess up his hair.
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Most Likely To Make Me Wanna Hurt Myself

Nacho: Ladies and gentlemen, The Hair will be our starting quarterback for the indefinite future.

A well-placed blowdart in Phoenix might be in order.

I want Matt Moore, more than ever.

Fuck, at this point, I'd rather have Darcy Maeda under center:


David Carr: twice as chin-touchy, half as tough.

Why hath god forsaken us?

Brethren: What's Rodney Peete up to?

While I'm only half-kidding about Rodney Peete, we do have to do something. Yes, Carr toughed out the win this week, but I just don't see him being the answer right now. I hope as the season progresses,and we wear the white jerseys less and the black ones more, the cooler looking black gloves he uses will translate into more success. It is a high hope indeed.

Ed. Note: Thanks to my boy Gideon for the tip on the breaking news.

Ed. Note part deux: Both Nacho and Brethren were also named as "Most Likely to Become Famous" as seniors in high school. So we and David Carr got that going for us.

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Week 5: The Cardiac Cats Iz Back

Brethren: Good Lord, that was a roller coaster. I haven't felt that much hate and love towards the same thing since I paid real money to go see "3000 Miles to Graceland."

The Cats won a thriller of two (not very good) NFC South teams. They did so in incredibly inept, yet amazing, fashion. There were back-killing penalties, back-killing interceptions, and (literally) back-killing injuries. But in the end, Steve Smith would not be denied and he carried the Cats to a win that is very reminiscent of the road win over Tampa that jump started the 2003 Super Bowl season.

Hey, a guy can dream right?



Brethren (cont'd): My patented bulleted thoughts on today's Saint-Panthers game:

- After that Julius Peppers blocked field goal, I really felt like a battered girlfriend coming back for more. I mean, here we were, giving up a drive that featured a fake punt, the Saints converting a fourth and three just outside of field goal range, and the Panthers giving up 847395792357 yards on penalties. I'm angry, sending hateful text messages to everyone from Nacho to Mammy to JLew. And as I begin to accept the fact that we're gonna go down 16-6, here comes Pep, awaking from his slumber to provide the Mr. Mo game-changing play. The bruises means he loves me, ok?!

- Did anyone else see how fired up John Fox got during the second half? Yes, it was probably out of desperation, but it's good to know he cares.

- While winning the game is obviously most important, this team still scares the shit out of me. After the Gators losing a game where they were winning for 58:51 minutes and the Panthers providing this roller coaster of an afternoon, I think I need a weekend from my weekend. Or at least get me back to the office, where I can calmly schedule some meetings, discuss FY09 Pillsbury planning, and report on the success of myfruitrollups.com. Jeebus.

- Matt Moore! Welcome to the Show, big guy.

- I miss Jake. I hope the fiery Cajun's up and running soon. I miss his musk.

- New bartender (to me) at the bar today: very attractive. She also did the bartender thing, making me think she was a lot more interested in me than she actually was. Fake love, but what this guy needed.

- After the Saints missed their long FG that could have potentially taken the lead in the fourth quarter, I screamed, "Fuck yea!" manically at the TV, as I am wont to do. The guy sitting at the bar next to me laughed, repeated what I said in some sort of mock-Brethren-voice, and thought I didn't hear him. Well fuck you, boring Steelers fan who gets to watch their team win 21-0. The Panthers eek out road wins against winless opponents and give me an ulcer in the process. That's how the Cardiac Cats roll, bitches. On to the Pink Taco!

Nacho: I was rather forlorn and calm throughout the majority of the game. Ricky provided a lot of yelling, I supplied Katrina similes. I'm classy like that. It was an ugly game played by ugly teams, neither of which look like they deserve to go to the post-season. Anyway, here's my re-cap:

- As I plop down in front of the finest tv Big Wangs has to offer, I receive a hearty slap on the shoulder. (How often do you experience anything in your everyday life that could be described as "hearty"? I thought so.) Turns out a waitress went to school with Julius Peppers and Alge Crumpler and was good friends with both. She admired my Peppers jersey. I admired her....pluck. She wasn't our waitress, but she did dole out high-fives at appropriate times.

- David Carr should be our Johnathan Papelbon. We need to keep him in the locker room, as far from the playing field as possible...until the fourth quarter. Today was Carr's eleventh career 4th quarter comeback win. I honestly didn't think David Carr had won 10 games in his entire career.

- As angry as he makes me, coddamn do I love David Carr's hair. I would not be in the least surprise to learn his favorite movie is Pulp Ficiton. Just fan-fucking-tastic hair, there, buddy.

- If Jake can't go by next week*, I want Matt Moore to start.

(Matt Moore pictured at right.)

















* = Jake will start next week. He knows who will be watching. Jake doesn't like to disappoint his diehards.
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