So That Happened

Nacho: The month of March has come and gone, and with it nary a blog post could be found from the fabled SportsBrethren. Fear not, we've not succumbed to peanut salmonella or something, there was just a lot going on. The Cap'n Pappy and Mammy flew out to LA to visit me, and Brethren was shepherding "Eastbound & Down" into the cultural zeitgeist.

In the interim quite a bit has gone on on the Charlotte sports scene. The Panthers, again, didn't listen to me and make a play for Jay Cutler. On the brightside, Ashton only has to fly to Denver to see his buddy. The Panthers haven't dealt Julius Peppers yet, but my guess is they will. He's trying to get a big paycheck in a bad economy, so don't be surprised when the first-round-draft-less Panthers deal him on April 25th to pick before #30.

The Bobcats had a helluva month. February ended with a drubbing of the Clippers that I got to witness firsthand in the Staples Center. Even got to meet DJ Augustin's cousin, and they enjoyed the enthusiasm. The Cats rolled off a nice five (or was it six? -- Brethren: It was a franchise-record six!) game winning streak and found themselves in the hunt for the 8th seed. At the rate they were playing, it looked all but foregone that they'd sneak in as the last team, but some unfortunate, typical late game collapses seem to have doomed them.

For further analysis follow us, after...

Nacho cont'd: I got really into the Bobcats during the month of March, primarily because I discovered sites like justin.tv and atdhe.net that show streaming video of games. I consumed more Bobcattery than I'd ever done before, and eventually found myself invested in their success. I buckled and admitted that Larry Brown had done well by the time, I speculated about Allen Iverson's prospects in Charlotte, and in the end bit the eff out of my fingernails and yelled a lot. I share Brethren's optimism about the Bobcats 09-10 season and look forward to a fulfilling playoffs over the next eight months.

March Madness happened and the first week was awesome and everything after that kinda stunk. There was a lot of bad basketball played and few upsets. I guess I'd like to see UNC win, but I have no vested interest. I do firmly believe Tyler Hansborough will be Spain's best player in three years, tho. (hat tip to Dave for that prophecy)

And now, someone with a better education....

Brethren: Hello there, friends. I'm truly apologetic for now just getting back on the Sports Brethren blog horse. In our late winter hibernation, a fine blog with the fine promise of only posting during business hours has popped up, the Panthers have remained as stoic and Panthery as they always are, and the Bobcats became a relevant NBA team. Like riding a bike, I'll get back to what's familiar; we present the "where the fuck is spring yet?" edition of the patented bulleted Brethren thoughts:

- Did you watch Eastbound & Down? Did you fan Kenny Powers on facebook? Did you send a friend a customized voice message from the Legend himself? Did you interact with this kick-ass banner ad? If you did one or more of the above, thanks for helping a brother pay rent.

- But seriously, Kenny Fucking Powers is a goddamn bullet proof tiger, and I will do everything I can to convince my HBO marketing clients to call their colleagues in Programming and bring it back for Season 2. Which means I'll have as much influence as any other joker, but gives me an easy conversation piece to discuss with anyone I haven't seen in a long time.

- Wow, Carolina. Ridiculous first half. You are validating the Analyst-in-Chief quite nicely. Next thing you know, he'll be firing CEOs because he can. Snap.

- I actually disagree with Nacho/Smokey -- I think Peppers plays next year for the Panthers. Hurney and the Silver Fox are content to pay him ri-gawd-damn-diculous money or take their sanctioned 2 first round draft picks. They're playing within the rules of the system, and they're keeping their mouths shut. Which seems to have worked out better than, say, what the Broncos did the past two months.

- It's tough to make any predictions about the Cats next year, simply because so much rides on what we do with Pep. These few weeks leading up to Draft Day will determine a lot how the rest of spring/summer play out.

- Opening Day today. How 'bout the Mets' bullpen? Night and Day from last year.

- And, of course, the Bobcats. The five seed is ours to lose next year, I really believe that. AI, as Nacho suggests, may make some sense, in that it moves Bell to the bench, and provides a scorer that we need from the wing. But it's hard to ignore the rapid decline of AI, and I'm not sure we have the cap space -- nor the inclination to fuck with what seems like good team chemistry -- to take a flyer on The Answer.

We'll hopefully be more frequent with the check-ins around here. I'm off to watch the Tar Heels cement this National Championship and drink some bourbon. Good to be back, folks.
The Jump

Wherein My Morrison Jersey Becomes Much More Ironic

Nacho: Yesterday, as I sat down to watch the film "Fanboys" I received a phonecall I chose to ignore. There's little in this world scarier than a miffed sci fi nerd. A voicemail was left that I listened to after the movie; it's mocking tone unmistakable: "Where's your Morrison, now? WHERE'S YOUR MORRISON NOW?!"

It's true, the face of the franchise, the great Mustachio himself, has left the Queen City. Adam Morrison was traded to the Los Angeles Lakers for Vlad Rad and with that, a chapter in the steep Bobcat lore comes to a close.

Not unlike Natalie Imbruglia, I'm torn. I love the Bobcats, but most of that initial love started when we drafted Morrison. With him off the team, I'm naturally sad, but he couldn't have been traded to a better team. I discussed the potentiality that Morrison's just trade bait to get Shaq back to LA (it's rather large) but that gives me two weeks to enjoy Morrison in a Laker jersey. Seeing as how he'll probably get passed around the league from here on out, any Morrison jersey is gonna be worth it's wait in gold.

A few thoughts on the off season, after...

Nacho cont'd: A month ago the Panthers shat the bed against the eventual Super Bowl Contender Arizona Cardinals. It was a devastating, demoralizing loss that could very well have shook an inexperienced fan to their very core. I was upset; I had somehow gotten about 20 people to come out and cheer for the Cats. It was kind of like trying to show off a new trick your dog or child has learned, only to watch them play with their own feces when the neighbors show up.

The most important part of that loss was the perspective it gave me. I saw the storm coming midway through the first quarter and willingly surrendered myself to the plummet into darkness. After the game, I got home and purged my body of all the hate, sadness, and fried foods I'd consumed over the previous 12 hours. It was cathartic, and disgusting.

A lot's happened since then: the Panthers purged their defensive coaching staff, Peppers said he wanted out, and, in the most encouraging news since January 10th, Steve Smith has spent the past week at the Pro Bowl recruiting Anquan Boldin. I'm wearily hopeful for the next season. The 2008-9 campaign was one that I will cherish and keep with me forever. The highs were high, the lows were pitiful. I'll remember all the beer and wings, I'll remember the San Diego and Oakland games, I'll remember it all. And I'll forget the Arizona game.

Staring out at the vast wasteland that is the offseason, I'll keep tabs on my Panthers as my passion and fury spends some time with the Bobcats. I was able to attend the double-overtime Laker game a few weeks back and it served as a worthy substitute until football comes back.

In the meantime, everyone should enjoy the probability that Jordan Farmar has this video playing in his locker, which is RIGHT NEXT to Morrison.


The Jump

Bobcats 114, Celtics 106

Brethren: I didn't watch this game at all -- I live with a die-hard Knick fan and so we watched them lose to The Team That Shall Not Be Named (RIP Seattle) -- but sometimes, something happens that makes you scour the Interwebs looking for all the info you can about a game you couldn't watch. The Bobcats beating the world champion Celtics at home in overtime is one of those games for we Bobcats fans.

Both Nacho and I attended home Bobcats games while in Charlotte for Winter Break '08, and yet we didn't write a post about either game. Nacho saw a win over the Wizards; I went to the loss to the Knicks (I actually went to the Knicks loss in NY back in November too). It's just that it's crunch time for us and we'd like to conserve our energy for the Panthers. But that doesn't mean we don't care about the Bobcats or don't have the same rabid fandom for LB's Cats.

Well, maybe not as much as we do for the Silver Fox's, but after the Cardiac Cats go as far as their merry playoff journey will take them, I have a sneaking suspicion we'll be starting the Bobcats Bandwagon, as this team starts to pick up on Coach Brown's style.

Nacho: Likewise, I wasn't made aware of this epic success until I was informed by my cohort Dugan. I believe his message over iChat was "What does Charlotte think they're gonna prove? They're beating the Celtics in overtime." I immediately clicked back over to the GameCast and kept a watchful eye. My coworkers saw me intermittently ecstatic and worried for my Cats. When they prevailed it was quittin' time and I rode home with a gleam in my eye.

I remember when we lost on a Ray Allen dagger last year and how exhilarated I was. To finally get that W is a small, but significant mountain. Dugan humbled me with a message later that was "Next stop: NBA Finals. The Celtics; not the Bobcats."

I'll take thirteen wins any year of the decade....sigh.

Go Panthers!
The Jump

Week 9: The Lovely Bye Week

Brethren: With the Carolina Panthers sitting Week 9 of the 2008 NFL Season out with a bye, I took advantage and headed South to return to the glorious place of Charlottesville, Virginia, for UVA’s Homecoming weekend. I went to Homecoming last year and saw an underrated ‘Hoos team take down a spunky UConn team, and while Homecoming is a good a weekend as ever to watch Virginia play football; this year, I couldn’t get a ticket to actually go inside the stadium to watch the game.

Not being able to “get” a ticket is a little misleading, though, I suppose. In reality, I was in Charlottesville to party in FantasyLand, reunite with some good friends, and attend the various glorious tailgates that define a Saturday in Virginia. It had been far too long, with watching too many football games in New York City bars, and college football and all its pageantry is meant to be experienced in live and living color.

And it was Halloween on Friday. I had to play my part as Jimmy Hart, the Mouth of the South, as about 15 brothers of my fraternity class were attending the party as Early 90s WWF/WCW wrestlers. Mullets, face paint, outrageous facial hair, and neon were on display, and the Cap’t and Mammy even made an appearance at the party. Grand times all around.

Oh, and those ever-strengthening Florida Gators exacted their fullest revenge on the dastardly Bulldawgs of Georgia in the World’s Largest Cocktail party. The Gators seem quite likely to play in Atlanta for the SEC Championship, and for all the talk of the Big 12 this year, I refuse to believe any team that wins the SEC shouldn’t have a shot at the national title.

Perhaps a response to the Bobcats preview, desde:


Brethren (cont’d): Sorry I missed out on the Bobcats season preview from Nacho this past week, so here are some quick thoughts as we’re sitting at 1-2 after the first three games:

- Nacho hates Larry Brown; thinks he’s too old-school and the wrong fit for this team. He claims he won’t play the young-ins, to which I would like to respond: who on this team isn’t considered a “young-in”? Our Big 4 veterans, J-Rich, Mek, RayRay, GForce, have never reached an All-Star game collectively, and are all relatively young. They certainly all seem like they could all benefit from someone who can teach the game of basketball. Worried LB won’t play Jared Dudley? He’s already spot-starting over a woefully out of shape Sean May. Worried he won’t play Morrison? The Great Mustachio is somewhat resembling the scorer he was in college at Gonzaga – which may be just enough to get some trade value out him and try to find some frontcourt help. Who else is there that’s young and not being played?

- To your point about the draft: it isn’t LB making those decisions – that’d be Mr. Jordan. Yes, LB may have loudly stated he needs more talent at point guard and veered us away from a Brook Lopez with the 9th pick, but that’s because he understands that, especially in today’s game, having steady field generals to lead a team is the only way you can compete if you don’t have a mega-star. There’s a reason the same Pistons team LB turned into a Championship team hasn’t made it past the Eastern Conference Finals since he left.

- Hustle, defense, and moving the ball to find open shooters is the only way this team is going to overcome its very obvious deficiencies in the front court. Mek is a fine power forward/center – but isn’t and probably never will be at an elite frontcourt player. Sean May is woefully out of basketball shape. Nazr Mohammad, Ryan Hollins, and the Frenchie aren’t worth much more than the 6 fouls they each represent. It’s a woeful frontcourt, which means the GForce at the 4 Experiment may continue, much to all of our chagrins.

The thing is, who’s better at getting players to hustle, play defense, and move the ball than Larry Brown?

Yes, this roster isn’t going to wow you on paper. But if J-Rich can continue his solid play from the second-half of last season, LB finds ways to unleash the athleticism of GForce, and Ray-Ray steps it up, we have the makings of a team that can maximize its scrappy play and steal some ballgames on nights where we don’t expect it. It’s far from Championship Basketball, but it’s the best shot we have at turning around the MJ Era.

The Jump

Eli's Coming

Nacho: The Larry Brown era began tonight. Ugh. Bill Simmons doesn't think much of the Cats this year, again. Last year he predicted 25 wins and we got 32, the season before that we got 33. Damnit, we were on the rise!

Then we went and brought in Larry Brown.

The Cleveland LeBrons torched us good in our season opener. I gotta be honest, I'm not expecting us to really advance under the wise tutelage of a man who hates playing young players, and already fucked up our draft. Lets just say I remain an devout Bobcats fan, and I hope Adam Morrison has some sort of reverse Sampson effect and becomes the player he shoulda been, now that he's dropped his locks.

Brethren would probably disagree, but them's the breaks.


Happy Halloween everyone.

Git dat kandy! The Jump

How To Cope With The Bobcats' Draft

Nacho: How does one deal with the terrible drafting prowess the Bobcats displayed Thursday night? Remember that the Olympics are coming up, and remembering Derek Redmond.




Nacho:Can't wait for more of that shit.

Brethren: Summer Olympics also mean Beach Olympics. I lurve me some Beach Olympics. I won't partake this year, but I'll holler from my beach chair, bourbon or beer in hand. C'MON, CHASE "MICHAEL PHELPS" WITTENAUER. PROVE YOU'RE AN ATHLETE.
The Jump

Bobcat Draft Round-Up

Nacho: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU LARRY BROWN!

Fuck you with pants on because you've shackled us with a Frenchman who won't put on a Bobcat jersey until long after you've gone.

Fuck you for taking Kevin Durant's ShortRound with a top 10 pick.

Fuck you for using the 2008 Draft to replace Earl Boykins and Primo Brezec.

Fuck you for GETTING BRONZE WITH A TEAM COMPRISED OF NBA ALL-STARS!

Brethren's hatred, after...

Brethren: I am the cock-eyed optimist of the two, but even I raised an eyebrow at this draft. I'm not gonna lie, hearing Larry Brown say he "fell in love" with the Frenchie during a workout is not music to my ears. Even the renowned Europlayer lover that is Chad Ford wrote that he doesn't know any player who's ever averaged 5 points a game in France become a good NBA player.

I'm okay with DJ Augustine, but looking back probably would have preferred Brook Lopez. Same way I kinda like Morrison, but would have preferred Brandon Roy. Same way I can deal with Felton/May, but would have preferred rolling them up to take Chris Paul.

All I know is this draft is a few days old and I'm still reeling in exasperation. I try to keep the faith, but I don't know. It's tough to when these kind of decisions get made.

Hopefully DJ can prove me wrong. I'm expecting ZERO from the Frenchman. Fucking French.
The Jump

I Can Haz Lottery Pick?

Nacho: The NBA Draft is looming and the Bobcats have the ninth pick. Everyone seems to be jonesing for big man, which I wholeheartedly agree with. However, with the lottery being the way it is this year, who knows what'll be left for us.

Alls I'm saying is we've been burned by scrappy white guys before.



Either way, I hope we go big or go home. By which I mean I hope we draft a big guy or pull a J Rich and trade for someone awesome.

Brethren, your thoughts?


Nacho: Brethren's thoughts go here.

Brethren: And here they be:

I was all about the Bobcats taking Kevin Love back in March/April, but I've heard enough of that argument above from Nacho to back down a little. But then I see YouTube clips like this and I kinda wish we do draft him.

I've heard a lot about the UCLA point guard, and I think that'd be ok. But I'm definitely hoping for a big guy, so that with the 38th pick, the Bobcats pick UVA point guard Sean Singletary. Yea, he might be a little undersized, but he's a floor general who will play hard and is coachable (things Larry Brown is looking for).

So yea, if the Bobcats came away with Kevin Love and Sean Singletary, I'd be an extremely happy fan come end of draft night.
The Jump

And thus, the NBA's been won

Brethren: I had such faith in the Celtics last night, that I didn't even watch the game. In its stead, I let my dear sisterin take me out for her XXth birthday. I'm a nice (poor) brother like that. So we had a trendy dinner in Manhattan's Meat Packing District, content to not watch the game and let Nacho alert us with texts like, "Halftime highlights put to Pirates theme. Awesome."

Indeed, that's all I needed to know. Danny Ainge, a brilliant pirate I can only assume, pilfered Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett from the nether regions of the NBA's dredges, brought wily veterans like James Posey and PJ Brown aboard, and had them train some fresh sea legs like Rajon Rondo, Kendrick Perkins, and Leon Powe to become swash-buckling basketball privateers.

And thus, the NBA's been won.

And so we end a pretty classic NBA Season. I am quite pleased with the state of league. And hey, the Bobcats have the 9th pick in, like, a week. Let's pick the unathletic white guy! That works out!

Parting thoughts, Nacho?

Nacho: This Celtics team sticks in my craw for some reason. I have a big issue with the idea of a league being based on parity when one franchise can mortgage their future to consolidate All-Stars and make a title run. Sure, it's not against the rules or anything, but it doesn't make me like it.

I kind of feel about the Spurs, a team I dislike greatly, the way Brethren feels like the Celts. I feel like they were a team who assembled a squad that was championship caliber, and they didn't have to steal aging All-Stars to do so. Alas, like Brethren, I'm fine with the state of the NBA, as this season was an incredibly enjoyable one to watch and play fantasy leagues.

I look forward to screwing the pooch on Draft Night and/or being elated as the Bobcats trade away their first-rounder for a quality superstar.

One last note: where was the posse/entourage member of Big Baby's whom he specifically pays to make sure he doesn't end up in childlike poses with championship trophies? Really dropped the ball there.
The Jump

We Write A Sports Blog

Brethren: It's about time to get back on this horse.

I have several topics I want to cover, that I've let stew up inside of me and I'll blame travel to far off places like Minneapolis, Atlantic City, and the District of Columbia for the reason why I haven't written for a while.

Enough of that though: I've got thoughts. I've got a blog. Here we go:

NBA
1. The Finals are here: Game One is in progress; it's close; Boston players are trying to do their best impression of Willis Reed, hobbling out of the locker room in the second half.

I won't go into any full in-depth analysis because there's nothing I can write that hasn't been said. The Cap't'll be along shortly to give us youngins the historical perspective, but I grew up with Michael Jordan, not Magic and Bird. So Lakers/Celtics is that vaguely important piece of history that you know you should know more about, but unless it happened to you then it's just something you know about, not something you experienced. You know, like the The Great Depression.

Avoid lightning bolts and read more NBA thoughts with me, after:


Brethren (cont'd): 2. I tweet'd earlier today how I liked where Rick Bonnell's head is at. I normally do. The Charlotte.com commenters give him a lot shit, he takes it in stride, and does a good job as the only beat writer out there who follows the Bobcats. He also writes a mildly entertaining Sunday column about baseball -- entertaining in that it's probably the only non-AP written MLB story all week that goes into the Charlotte Observer sports section.

This morning, Bonnell threw out the argument that the Bobcats should go after 'Sheed. I love this idea. I love that Sheed calls our new coach, "Pounds," because his initials are LB. I think Sheed and G-Force will instantly become really close, that Okafor can be the Ben Wallace/McDyess character, and our backcourt can mature. I love that the Bobcats would only be taking a one-year risk because Sheed's only got one more year on his contract.

Add 'Sheed without giving up Okafor, G-Force, J-Rich, and RayRay and I think you have to make that trade. Rick, I like where your head's at. Bring Sheed back to the Kakkalak.

Ok, Game One's almost over. I gotta go pay attention to that. We'll back with Panthers stories, some baseball thoughts, and more NBA in the coming days, weeks, months.

Also, Fearless Leader: don't forget about your promise to us and the Panthers preview. Don't you forget.
The Jump

We Hired Some Coach (plus NBA Playoffs and late NFL Draft thoughts)

Brethren: The Fearless Leader is calling out us Bobcats blogs for not being "a-twitter" and posting quickly enough about the hiring of Larry Brown as the third coach in Bobcats franchise history. Well, first off, I'd like to direct Mr. Leitch again to our sub-slogan. Then, I'd like to look at the Larry Brown hire without rash emotion -- like Nacho would like to probably do -- and truly see, is the right move?

There's no denying Larry will be the best tactical and motivational coach to date for the Bobcats. He's the best coach to come through Charlotte (besides maybe Bob McKillop). And while he's known for dramatic turnarounds of franchises, he's also notoriously hard on young teams. He's also known for butting heads with any strong-willed front office executive.

How do we see this playing out? Follow us through...

Brethren (cont'd):, I understand all the arguments against hiring Larry Brown. I can see how his style can be grating on young players and his desire to jettison any player if a few little things go wrong can be undermining to the front office. His recent work with a team like the Knicks was horrific -- and are we certain the Bobcats are much more talented or more cohesive than that team? He's had past failure with Emeka Okafor (the US Olympic team). He's not going to like Adam Morrison's inability to play defense (or his hippie long hair). His tough love on point guards might fall on deaf ears with Ray Ray.

But there are definitely things that I can see going well. I think our stars, G-Force and JRich, will respond to someone with as much respect and past success as Brown. I can see Larry taking a liking to Jared Dudley (yes, I'm ignoring the "Larry Brown doesn't play young guys" corrolary because Dudley plays much older and wiser and tougher than a second year player). And you know what? We are in Tar Heel country: maybe casual fans will come around if we can get some early success.

It's a bold move to recognize that the coach you hired last summer was over his head. It was bold to bring in such a big personality of a head coach. But bold moves are what this team needs. We're coming into year 5 of this franchise and results need to start coming in -- and bringing results is what Larry Brown has a history of doing.

NBA Playoff Thoughts:
- I hate Hack-a-Shaq. Especially when the Spurs are ahead by so much. And when Shaq is 50 feet away from the basket.
- I hate that the Spurs whine at every call. Every fucking call.
- I hate the Spurs.

NFL Draft Thoughts:
Boy, Foxy and Hurney are certainly going all-in. Mortgaging next year's draft to acquire the last blue chip offensive tackle to go along with the big bruising back that Fox/Hurney crave -- that move screams, fuck it, let's win now, cuz if we don't, we won't be around anyway.

I like our draft class right now -- but so does everyone, right? Well, this offseason certainly seems on paper to be the exact kind of offseason Fox/Hurney always plan on doing: beefing up the interior offensive line, acquiring a battering ram running back, signing some options at WR to take some heat off of the tenacious Steve Smith, drafting for value in the second and third rounds, getting rid of high-priced veterans and players who don't want to be in Carolina. All in all, it seems good on paper.

And what seems good on paper will only get better as spring turns to the long summer without football. Guys will look great in shorts and no pads in mini-camps. I will of course be incredibly optimistic come August.

Fuck yea, Panthers.

Nacho: Grumble grumble grumble Larry Browns hates young people apples & oranges apples & oranges Our team is pretty much comprised of young people yada yada yada This team was going to get the 5 more wins they needed to make the playoffs next year, regardless of LB.

Panther draft
+10 me, for miraculously finding myself in a Chevy's restaurant at the exact moment the draft started. Margaritas and no audio make this Bloomberg TV layout motif awesome.

I'm still a little confused with the Jon Stewart pick, but, as usual, the Cats made their splash in the later rounds. Good on 'em.

NBA Playoffs
Go Hawks! Go Sixers! Begrudging respect for the Lakers!

Bake some frownies for the two teams that didn't stay the course when the Lakers signed Gasol: you deserved better, Suns and Mavs. Well, Suns, at least.

AVERY JOHNSON FIRED. EDDIE GRIFFIN OSCAR CHANCES PLUMMET...OR NOW HAVE THEIR 2ND ACT?!
The Jump

[Insert Daily Show Joke Here]

Nacho: Far be it from me to call a pick wasted, but the selection of Jonathan Stewart with the thirteenth pick seems unwise. Of all the problems we're about to have this season (porous O-line, flaccid D-line) it made too much sense to pick a big guy with some real longevity potential and bring in someone to motivate DeAngelo Williams to run faster. Surely with that second 1st round pick they'd take someone with a long, tenured experience on the line.

Whoops.

Instead, we took the guy from Nigeria who started playing ball for all of four years. He's probably been through more "real life" shit than any other Panther, but will he know how to pick up a blitz?

Brethren, be like Tanier on Deadspin and sell me on these picks. Also, celebrate the departure of Sam Vincent.

(Ed: WEST COAST JAWS ATTACK!!!)

Brethren's drunk at an antiquated sporting event in the middle of nowhere, Virginia. He'll post eventually.

I'm all for Sam Vincent's departure, but keep Larry Brown away from this team. It's comprised of a bunch of developing, young talent: the one segment of the NBA population that Larry Brown notoriously despises. We need someone who will foster an environment that will continue to let Jared Dudley and the rest expand their potential while making sure J Rich and Gerald are kept happy.
The Jump

Sailing Through the Doldrums

Nacho: Well we seem to have gotten through the doldrums. The SportsBrethren don't much follow, or care, about baseball, so expect a slimmer output for a bit. The NFL schedule came out today. MJD thinks the Panthers only Monday Night game has a high potential to be shitty. I think our Cats could be clinching the Division title around that time.

The Panthers will open their season in San Diego, and I will most certainly be attending. There's also a game in Oakland, which may or may not be attended by yours truly.

Other than that, not much doin'. The Bobcats finished their season in much the same manner they've done lately. That's, like, the third game we've blown huge leads in, with differing, albeit frustrating results. I'm glad we won more games than Simmons thought we'd win (25). I look forward to who we might pick up in the offseason, where Mek ends up, and of course, the draft.

Brethren will add some thoughts, and we'll check back in when something strikes us.

Brethren: It feels good to be back here at the Dexter Lake Club.

So while I disagree with Nacho and will remind our good readers, I do care about baseball, it's only April, and I'm hindered by my lack of gumption for one team (an issue I'm sure I'll get into one of these days).

That said, there wasn't much of a Masters and like Nacho pointed out, the Bobcats are following their formulaic late March/early April baloncesto of blowing large leads, letting the other team outrebound them, and generally not seeming too care much at all what Sam Vincent has to say. Whether Jordan fires his good friend after one year is sure to be a topic of interest this offseason.

A quick look at the Panthers schedule just makes me sad football's so far away. I love the idear of caring about the order of their schedule on a Tuesday in April, but not so much that I'm gonna get real riled up about it. As for the NFL Draft, I'm liking most of the names I'm hearing: Jeff Otah or Rynn Clady at tackle, Gator Derrick Harvey at DE, and Rashard Mendenhall at RB (although the last time the Panthers took a Rashard in the first round, George Siefert was at the helm, and I'm sure no one wants any memory of those times).

But at the end of the day, the NFL Draft falls on the same day as the Foxfield Races every year. And for those of you who don't know what Foxfield is, well, I feel bad. Because you haven't lived in super happy eternal awesomeness land until you've experienced Foxfield.

That's about all I have to say about that. Be on the look out for a special guest column from an old pal sometime soon!
The Jump

It Got Hot In Thurr

Nacho: The sun shines pretty bright out here in Southern California, but on a day like today, it shines even brighter. Last night, I got to witness the Charlotte Bobcats come in and destroy the Lakers at the Staples Center. It was glorious, despite the no-show on Adam Morrison's part. It's cool though; I still wore my Morristache shirt into the office today. Neat factoid: I played as many minutes as Adam did in both games played in LA this season. Hooray, season-ending injuries!

It was a glorious evening, one surrounded on all sides by Laker fans. I like Laker fans. They're not egregious assholes and their extreme knowledgeable. I sat next to a pair of fellers who consistently pointed out all the failings of the Lakers and their breadth of info kept me both informed, and immensely pleased with the Cats performance. I tried to keep the relish from my hotdog off of them.

The rest of the recap, and an explanation as to why Pam Anderson didn't want her child watching this sort of filth, after...

Nacho cont'd: The Cats went 2-0 this season when playing in Los Angeles on weeknights with me in attendance. I'm no statistician, but even I can clearly see how much better I make this team. I dress in full uniform (thanks for coordinating with the blue, guys. I looked like an ass at the Clippers game.) I really feel like what I bring to the table is vital and inspiring. These titans travel across an entire continent to play a game, and when they arrive they're greeted with disdain and inherent hatred. It does their soul good to see a fanatic from their hometown, all the way out here. It warms the cockles of their hearts, and it makes J Rich wanna drain threes.

And drain threes did J Rich.

The game was exceptionally fun for both Bobcats fans (I count me and Nelly.) The refs let a lot of fouls on both sides go, but the truth was inescapable: the Lakers, sans Bynum and Gasol have NO ONE who can match up in the middle. Nazr and Mek had their way with Tiny Turiaf and I'd have to take off my shoes cuz I'd run out of fingers if I tried to count the times Matt freaking Carroll drove the lane with positive results. On defense G Wall shut down Kobe, who had J Rich sniping at his ankles every time he touched the ball. Their double-teams obliterated whatever offensive game plan Phil Jackson had. Combine that with terrible shot selection, usually pretty early in the shot clock, by Vlad, Sasha and Rony and you've got yourself the fixin's for a down home, ol' fashioned Bobcats win.

As the final buzzer sounded I'd already positioned myself in a prime spot for high-fives. I knew without Morrison there was little need for me to have brought the camera I had borrowed, but I doled out hearty fives all the same. Ryan Hollins saw me, laughed, and exclaimed "Hey look, Adam dressed, too." Matt Carroll gave me his arm sleeve. It looked, smelt and felt like an oversized, soiled condom, and I will treasure it with all my heart. With Carroll's arm sleeve and Jeff McInnis's headband I'm slowly constructing the perfect Bobcat/Frankenstein hybrid.

So to all the fans that came out and got to watch Kobe creep ever closer to that fateful one-game suspension for too many Technical Fouls: sorry. Your team is 1-5 against the Bobcats in their history. We absolutely own your ass, and we're not giving it back any time soon, as evidenced by the great play of Jared Dudley, Carroll and Ray Ray.

Extra special sauce goes to J Rich who not only elevated his team, but also a couple of my fantasy teams as well. We're in the playoffs here, people, respect where it's due.

Pam sat real close to where I was. I'm guessing
this pic has more to do with Laker girls routines than
Vlad Rad's horrific shooting, but could be either.
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Cats on a roll!

Brethren: Lots of action going in our Cats world. The boys at the Panthers Headquarters are sticking to their game plan: cutting high-priced veterans who we can get better value for and signing under-the-radar free agents who have a history of producing. They had a busy day on Friday, adding the Bengals' leading tackler, versatile LB Landon Johnson and a big back (who doesn't fumble!) from Jacksonville, LaBrandon Toefield.

But the real news round these parts is the YOUTH MOVEMENT going on with the Bobcats. Our Cats are in the middle of their franchise-tying four game (take that, bitches) winning streak, led by Ray-Ray Felton, Matt Carroll and Jared Dudley.

And although this has all come from almost a direct result of cutting my appointed basketball equivalent, Jeff McInnis, I must say, I was at the Knicks-Bobcats game last Wednesday, and it was very apparent this team was lethargic and needed a shake up.

More thoughts and Nacho's musings after..

Brethren (cont'd): The Knicks game was, in a word, pathetic. Neither team was playing well. The Knicks used a late second quarter run to put the game out of reach. We were down 2, then all of sudden, the Cats were down 20. It lasted like that for much of the rest of the game, and then it was thankfully over. I was sad we lost, it was disappointing to see our team suck like that, but the most annoying thing was that in a garbage time bucket, Matt Carroll sent us over the "over" and I lost my bet on the game. All in all, I was more apathetic than actually upset. I then went and played some darts and drank some beers.

But now, I'm wrapped back in! Within a week and a half, we're in the midst of our franchising-best winning streak and I'm quite excited.

Yes, the Cats YOUTH MOVEMENT has taken down The Dinos, the TWolves, the Warriors, and the Hawks. Three potential playoff teams in there. The swagger, the confidence that this team has shown with RayRay, Jim from The Office, and the Rook leading the way is contagious. They're playing the way a loose team does, and while they're still 16 games under .500 at 23-39, here's the kicker:

The Charlotte Bobcats are 3 games out of the final Eastern Conference playoff picture.

Hey, some Southern brethren can dream, right?

Nacho: Halfway through my first sentence I got the text:

Fifth in a row! Franchise record!

That does my soul good. This streak comes at a time when I need something to keep the hopes up. I feel like a new inmate at Shawshank, being told the ol' Dufrense story for the first time. I don't want to do anything to jinx it. Sure, one could make a case, in this semi-late doldrums of a long and punishing season, that those potential play off teams don't mind losing a game or two, especially if it means your team leader *cough*Chris Bosh*cough* gets to sit out said meaningless game, I might be forced to at least acknowledge the possibly....but instead...

THREE GAMES OUT BABY! C'MON CATS! WOOOOOOOOO!
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Bobcats Win and Other Oddly Interesting Things for a Sunday

Nacho: Here we are in the doldrums of late-winter/early-spring, going about our days attending prom-themed parties and drinking spiked punch and the sports world up and gives us something interesting to talk about. How insensitive of them.

In between a Bobcats win and Kobe entertaining us all the way through overtime, we've had a flurry of free agent activity. Looks like the Falcons' old tight end, and Tar Heel, Algernon Crumpler got himself a job with the Titans. To compensate, the Falcons took LaDanian back up Michael Turner off the Chargers hands. And to finish it off, Carl Edwards won his 2nd consecutive NASCAR race. People, I'm trying to recover from prom here, I can't take all this action.

In summation, I'd like to formally extend an invitation for Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper to visit Charlotte. I love me some Matt Moore, but we could use some more experience at back up QB, not to mention how effing scary our receiving corps would be with Smithy and Moss. So c'mon on down and try some sweet tea. We'll make it worth your while.

Brethren's Sunday thoughts, after...

Breathren: Couldn't agree more with Nacho -- how silly of sports to be relevant in late February/early March. How wise he is. I, myself, was in our nation's capital for the weekend, hanging out with Sisterin, JLew, and my UVA boys. Sisterin works at a fake company, called Corporate Executive Board, and the company had a Prom on Saturday night that I crashed. Awesome times.

As for our sports world, The Offseason Overhaul continues at Carolina Panthers headquarters. If Fox/Hurney say shipping Jenkins for 3rd and 5th round picks was a necessary move, I'll believe them. I was always a Jenkins fan, but it's been apparent for some time that he wasn't the best fit on this team. I especially liked that he called out Warren Sapp for having a stanky soul and I liked that he called out this team's heart in the beginning of the year last year. But we got some value out of him and I'm happy about that.

I second Nacho's request for Culpepper and Moss to visit the QC. Ask Jake and Smitty: we got Bojangles'! It's amazing!

And in the best news of the weekend, Sisterin is moving to Chicago in April, and she'll be living 3 blocks from Wrigley field. That's all sorts of awesome, as the Cubs home field is one of the best MLB stadiums I've been to. I'm looking forward to making a trip this summer and getting drunk in the bleachers.

We got a big few weeks of sports coming up: college basketball heats up, MLB starts back, NBA sorts out, and the NFL free agency continues on! Be good, sportsfans.
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A Message From Daniel Plainview to Mikki Moore

Daniel Plainview: One night, I'm gonna come inside your house, wherever you're sleeping, and I'm gonna cut your throat.

bitch.

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Today In History: One Week Ago

Nacho: Ah, but to be back in those halcyon days, when the world was full of wonder and fecund with possibility. I'm talking, of course, about last Monday: January 28th, 2008. While the world of sports slogged through a needless bye week before the inevitable Patriots Super Bowl victory, we grappled for some other sport to step up to the plate. For me, that sport was basketball; namely, the Charlotte Bobcats taking on the Los Angeles Clippers.

My christmas present had been two seats, fifteen rows behind the Bobcats bench. I entertained a wild fantasy where I'd show up, dressed exactly like Adam Morrison (pictured above)and, since Sam Vincent's just a first year coach, I could slip onto the end of the bench. Vincent, in his inexperience, would confuse me with the REAL Adam Morrison, and BAM! the next thing you know, I'm jawing with Sam Cassell.

Alas, the 'Cats didn't quite follow the plan and showed up in the Orange unis:

I always associate orange with winners.

The rest of my adventure in the center of Staples, after...

Nacho: So we got to our seats, and I immediately started looking around for someone to slap. Turns out he was off daydreaming about a Dreamboat. Go figure.

There was no Penny Marshall sightings, but Billy Crystal was in the house. He ate popcorn a lot:

He sits with his legs crossed all night.

Since Billy was nice enough to come out to see my boys, I thought I'd send him a shout out.

Cool people will recognize my last four digits.

Although we were totally acknowledging one another every time out, Adam Morrison blew me off. Even at the end of the game, when we moved really close to the bench and a section of fans kept taunting me. Morrison, I'm giving you one more chance: March 28th, 2008. Lakers, Bobcats. You blow me off then, I burn your bobblehead and demand a trade. Sorry.

But this story has a happy ending: after Morrison stalked away, Jeff McInnis, a true Charlotte boy, tossed me his headband. Jeff McInnis is the coolest pro baller I've ever met.

That thing is extremely sweaty. Extremely.

Naturally, I DVR'ed the game, so we drove straight home and scanned forward to the end. I think this image speaks droves because the Bobcats have just won the game, and no one is more excited than I.

This West Coast road trip is gonna go GREAT!

All in all, it was a splendid night. I really wish Adam Morrison wasn't such a jerk and took a picture with me. Jeff McInnis is awesome; and the Bobcats are on a roll!

Well, tomorrow night's a big night so we're gonna do some drinking. Hope to see you out there.

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Bobcats Gone A-Boykin'

Nacho: All you folks jawing about my visit to Staples can pipe down for a short bit, I'll get to it as soon as I'm able. In other news, today the Bobcats signed Earl Boykins for the rest of the year. I, for one, greet our Boykin overlords and look forward to months of petty puns. I felt Herr Boykin got the shit end of the stick in the Allen Iverson trade, so it's good to see him land on his feet.

Besides, if Charlotte's gonna have professional basketball team, it damn well better have a diminutive point guard leading the squad. Can Earl be the second coming of Muggsy? We'll see. In the meantime, we'll just go ahead and ignore the fact that Brad freaking Miller put up 20+/20+ on us.

Brethren's thoughts a la carte, after...

Nacho cont'd: Thanks to our friend Doogz for the head's up that JJ's getting testy in Orlando.

Brethren: If we were going to fill that last open roster spot and it's not gonna be a big guy to help our thin front line, I'll take a 5'5 point guard any day of the week. Especially the Boynk. I mean, he's smaller than me! And he's in the NBA! What could possibly get better!?

Anyone who can invoke Muggsy is good in my book and helping mentor Ray Ray should be good, although I don't know if I want Earl's shoot-first mentality to rub off on Ray Ray. I do lurve me some Muggsy though. For a solid few years until I was about 16, I thought I could be a solid point guard despite the fact that I was 5'8 and a stiff wind could blow me over. I'm pretty sure Muggsy was the only reason I thought that. And if the Bobcats now have a diminutive point guard who inspires white suburban Charlotteans to think they too can have success in the game of basketball, well, that's just aces.



picture ht: SportsBastards. Nice name.
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Hell's Coming With Me!!!

Nacho: A quick reminder: Tomorrow night, Monday the 28th, "Charlotte is FREE." I'll be heading down to Staples Center, with some amazing seats.

My expressed, written goals include:

- A Bobcats win. (This will not be difficult; especially with The Caveman still injured.)

- Drink heavily. (This will be the only thing easier than beating the Clippers.)

- Get a picture with Adam Morrison. (I want this more than a Bobcats win.)

- To be Bill Simmons's huckleberry, and act like Daniel Plainview when his parenting is impugned. Simmons, if you don't recall, denies our existence like a Midwestern school board does evolution. Seriously, I'm gonna treat him like Kurt Russell does Billy Bob Thornton. You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?

Supercool video, after...

Nacho cont'd: I don't know who posted this, but god bless 'em. I'm fairly certain this is footage from the Hornets game I attended. I'll look over it a few more times to determine if my pixle-y ass is in there. (Update: nope. Opposite end of the court.)


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