Monday, December 3, 2007
Since the Brethren are bogged down with work this holiday season, we welcome Mitchell Blatt of Juiced Sports to the ever-growing list of contributors.
Last week, we had to suffer through the Dolphins vs the Steelers on Monday Night Football. Even Ricky Williams' return didn't ease the pain, as Ricky got injured after six carries.
As if the pathetic matchup weren't enough, ESPN's ads all week sealed the deal. You know, the ones about how you were watching the Dolphins-Pats game three years ago in your college dorm, and that one obnoxious Pats fan made that bet where if the Pats lost he would have to have the Dolphins logo tattooed onto his arm, and as the Fins began their comeback, you gave him the option of opting out, but he still had faith in the Pats, then when the Fins finally did when, he actually went throughout with it!
So funny I have to cry.
ESPN could have at least pretended the Dolphins were good like they usually do. I mean, sure, Trent Green — injured since week five — had more passing yards than the Fins starter Cleo Lemon going into game, and their running back was their second leading receiver, but still, they could have at least promoted it as Ricky's return.
Well, this next one with the Patriots playing the Ravens is just as bad. At least the Ravens looked like a good team going in, as opposed to the Fins who were coming off a 4-12 season. Doesn't change the fact that the Ravens are 4-7 and the Pats steamroll everyone.
Yes, the Eagles almost beat the Pats last week in a part fluke, part great performance, but that was more a referendum on Donovan McNabb's rising age and declining skill than on the Patriots ability to lose. Without McNabb injured (again), AJ Feeley did a good job filling in for him (again).
ESPN has taken the easy (and annoying) road again with their ads, this time talking about how that one time you were watching a game that featured the Packers and someone else (maybe the Ravens?) and your wife was giving birth, and you just let her give birth in front of the game instead of taking her to the hospital. Instead of, you know, talking about how good Ray Lewis is.
Even after tomorrow's Ravens-Patriots matchup, the Monday Night forecast doesn't look much better. New Orleans-Atlanta is after this one, then it gets a little bit better with Chicago-Minnesota and Denver-San Diego to finish the season.
This three-game stretch is just that, a three-game stretch. It is an example of how unexciting Monday Night Football has been this season. The average win margin of MNF games this season has been 12.1. The average win margin of all NFL games this season has been 5.7. And with the Patriots playing tomorrow, it is worth noting that their average win margin is 23.4. Tony Kornheiser only makes it worse.
So tomorrow will be one more night I go to bed early, one more night I forget about that time that I was watching Monday Night Football, and my wife had to give birth, and I didn't take her to the hospital.
And that, my friends, is good reason to feel rage.