Week 19 And Beyond: The Day the Music Died

Brethren: It has taken me a full three weeks to write this. The absolute stomach-punching atrocity that formed a burning sadness and simultaneous anger in my heart on January 10th, 2009, has finally turned into a compact black hole I'll carry for a long time. But while compact, it's small and it doesn't consume my entire heart.

But for a while there, it absolutely did. After Jake's second interception in the first half and we were suddenly facing a two touchdown plus differential, my world started to fade quickly. We had an entire section of the bar in the East Village reserved and I can take at least 60% of the credit for turning us into an interminably miserable peoples. I was angry. We had worked hard to get to 12-4 dammit. And then it all slipped away as Jake played the worst game of his career and John Fox stubbornly didn't gameplan for the Cardinals' most potent offensive weapon.

A lot has happened since that night three weeks ago. Nearly all the defensive coaches are gone, most notably, the defensive coordinator Trgovac. He's been replaced by the Colts' D-Coordinator, Ron Meeks. Indy hasn't been renowned for the defensive side of the ball in recent years because of Pey-Pey's huge presence in your standard marketing campaigns, but statistically, this guy knows what he's doing. And he has a Super Bowl ring. This will still be a John Fox team, but Meeks brings an aggressiveness to the defense that we clearly lacked in that Arizona playoff game.

The Cardinals have moved on in dramatic fashion, and I've been rooting for them all the way. I always start rooting for the team that knocks mine out of the tournament, if only to say, "hey -- nobody could beat those guys that year -- how'd you expect us to?"

And of course, the most potentially bizarre situation is the elephant in the proverbial room right now: Defensive End Julius Peppers wanting out of Carolina. The Panthers jersey I own carries Peppers's #90 and name, he was the first piece of the John Fox era, he is the most ridiculous athlete to ever hit the Charlotte sports scene; and yet, if he truly wants out and he thinks he has to leave our organization to truly reach his potential, well then fuck that. Fucking Carolina grad. I can turn on him in a heartbeat.

But Pep, if this all works out and you stay on in the Kakkalak and dominate the way we know you can, we're cool. If not, you gots to get the fuck out.

As for me, I spent the rest of the night of Jan 10th getting as weird as possible. Lots of shots, lots of drinks, self-inflicting damage had to be done. I put on my onesie and didn't get out of bed until 5:30 PM the next day, eating only a small sandwich and some yogurt when I did. It was pathetically adorable and I couldn't have gotten over the pain of watching your team self-implode so dramatically when they could have been so great without this exercise in self-pity. Writing this blog every week about the Panthers certainly ups my ante as a fan -- I feel much more personally invested when I'm chronicling the emotional highs and lows of following this team. So when you get that involved, it only hurts that much more when the sudden and finite end swiftly kicks you in the ass.

But life goes on. Players will come, players will go; and we will rebuild a roster that will look different than the '08 version. Fans will turn on Jake the second he throws his first interception next season, but I hope Fox/Hurney don't. I think they should open up training camp for competition, but I suspect Jake would win that. He's Smitty's QB -- and next year, we'll just have to have a better defense and remember that we're a fucking running team that likes to take a chance every now and again downfield with Smitty. Stick to that identity and we should be force to be reckoned with again.

Life has gone on. Nacho and I will continue to check in with the Panthers as the off-season progresses and big news pops up, but we turn our attention to the improving Bobcats and the coming months of non-football sports. And it shall be good.

I missed the concept of the jump with this post, but perhaps Nacho will have some words down there.

(And yes, that picture up top is of Nacho and Brethren, dressed to the ts in our onesies that Mammy gave us for Christmas, drinking scotch. Like all good Southerners. Admit it: we're so hot right now.)

Nacho?
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Week 8: Character Win

Nacho: Sorry to butt in here but I can't let this wait: Can we all agree that to henceforth call the Panthers head coach "The Silver Fox"? This seems like a no-brainer. The man's got the management style of Roger Sterling, they share a last name, and with John Hamm's surprisingly good performance on SNL, I think it fits perfectly. Sports Guy, Deadspin, FanHouse, MJD: let's spread this like a staph infection.

Brethren: What a phenomenal weekend all-around. We're here to talk about the Carolina Panthers' gutsy, come-from-14-points-down win, but I gotta start with the observation that this weekend kicked some serious ass. The Gators and the Wahoos both had strong wins on Saturday; I spent Saturday night with Penn State fans as we watched JoePa duke out a huge win on the road, and today: the Carolina Panthers overcame some early apathy, silly coaching decisions, and a vaunted Buzzsaw passing attack to snatch a 27-23 victory.

This win would not have been possible without the amazing Steve Smith and an unsung performance by DeAngelo Williams, so we'll start there. The Panthers clearly play better on offense when they've got a sense of urgency and know they need to get the ball to their best playmaker, Smitty. What bewilders me a bit is that it still will take them a while to get the ball to 89, but when they finally come around to it, he does what he does best -- make big plays.

Many may say that the Panthers stole this victory from the Buzzsaw or that the Cards shot themselves in the collective foot, but what I saw was a Carolina Panthers team that kept fighting and pulled out a huge win to close out the first half of the season at 6-2 and alone at the top of the incredibly-solid NFC South. It was a worthy victory and one that makes the bye week that much more glorious.

More individual thoughts via the Brethren patented bulleted thoughts desde..


Brethren (cont'd): Some happy and not happy thoughts from the game.

- Jeebus, John Fox lacks basic sense when it comes to end-of-the-first-half clock management. Let's review and think about the logic behind coaching decisions. The Panthers defense stops the Cardinals on a third down with 1:45 left in the first half and all three of their timeouts remaining. Everyone knew the Buzzsaw would be setting up a field goal, yet the Panthers don't use their first timeout to stop the clock. Instead, the clock runs down to 1:16 as the Cards set up the FG unit, then Fox calls timeout to "ice" the kicker. Forget the fact that the Cardinals coaching staff then made its own questionable decision to fake the FG, which backfires, but I still have no clue why John Fox calls that timeout at 1:16 instead of 1:45.

He's basically saying he'd rather give his offense 1:16 and 2 timeouts to march 80 yards than 1:45 and 2 timeouts. How that makes even basic common sense is beyond me. Let's move on before my head explodes trying to follow the intense, gray-haired man's logic.

- Maybe the most impressive drive of the game was the final one to kill the clock. Two huge third down conversions to keep the Arizona passing attack on the sideline: the first on a huge Dwayne Jarrett catch as he got his clock cleaned, and the second where DeAngelo took a patented John Fox draw 15 yards to convert a 3-and-13. That whole drive made me nervous, and when the game was on the line, the Cats came through.

- Chaz Johnson, welcome to the big boys table. It's one thing to do your thang to a Chiefs JV team in a blowout; it's quite another to do it during a big game against a top offense like Arizona's. Well played, sir.

- Moose: that's your one. Don't ever fucking drop a touchdown pass like that again. You get one.

- It seemed like Jake spent the first half with more energy concerned towards the officiating than playing football. Glad to see that change in the second half.

- I'm feeling pretty good at 6-2, in first place in the NFC South. The season's only half done, but we're putting ourselves in good position to be playing in January. I head down to Charlottesville for Homecoming/Halloween/a four day weekend as the Cats take their week off.

I may not be heard from again until November -- be good, sportsfans, and remember to enjoy life. I discovered that again this weekend and, damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

Nacho: What a win. The Carolina Panthers are atop the highly competitive NFC South, UVA's atop the ACC, and the Godfather owes Nacho a drink.

I find it odd opposing teams haven't solved the Fade-Route-To-Steve-Smith Technique yet, but hey, I'll take it. The Cats are undefeated at home through five games. This is pretty unheard of , and I'm not gonna lie: it feels good. The Panthers enter in their bye week with a morale boosting win, and there's an off chance I'll change my return flight from visiting Brethren in Week 10 to San Fran so I can attend the Oakland game.

Wish us luck, blogosphere!
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Week 3: Snap Back to Reality

Brethren: The Carolina Panthers came back down to Earth yesterday and I'm still not quite sure what to make of it. Losing to a desperate 0-2 Vikings team on the road, against a pass rush that looked remarkable, I suppose I'm not terribly upset. I was yesterday afternoon, but it wasn't as if I watched the game and thought, "Damn, we should have won that game." The Vikings outplayed the Panthers, stole the momentum late in the second quarter and never gave it back.

It was incredibly frustrating to watch the Vikings reel off 20 straight and see little to no fight out of the Panthers. Yes, if a few things had gone our way -- if the Jonathan Stewart kick return isn't negated, if John Fox doesn't call a timeout right before we block a field goal to keep it to a one possession game -- we may have had an opportunity to do the Cardiac Cats thing. But there were also a terrible amount of mental mistakes -- 11 penalties, an ineffective offensive line, and letting the Vikings uncork an eleven minute drive that spanned the second half of the third quarter into the fourth -- that truly made me realize Sunday was not our day.

The implications? Hopefully not too much. Four of the next five are at home (I'm going to the Kansas City game in two weeks!), but shit needs to get figured out, that's for sure. The Falcons always give us trouble, no matter their record, and right now, their record says they're just as good as us. I don't believe that, but I do believe we're in for a fight come Sunday.

More thoughts, desde:

Brethren (cont'd): My patented bulleted thoughts regarding the Cats first loss of the 2008 season:

- 1st play of the game for the Cats: completion to Steve Smith. That just seemed right. Too bad Jake couldn't get it to him more as the day went on.

- Jake claims that Smitty was streaking and wide open on the play he fumbled on right before the first half, and that he was gearing up to hit him. I'd like to believe him, but it just makes me angry. I kinda agree with Fowler and wonder how he didn't see Winfield coming.

- Two ominous signs from the week that looking back at I wish I could have taken more heed of: a) The call I received from Chops where he mentioned the last time the Panthers played a back-up coming for his first game of the year, Tony Romo busted us up something fierce and b) Me acting like I know when football lines are absurd.

- I've been to Minnesota more times in 2008 than I've been to Charlotte. I didn't take the pre-game tequila shot with Pam (I did the first two weeks and we won). And still, if anyone wants to blame me for this loss, I'd point them to J-Lew, who watched his first Panthers game of the year yesterday. Silly J-Lew.

Nacho: I sat in The Bar in front of our designated, prime real-estate seats to watch the Panthers play football on Sunday morning, and a funny thing happened. They didn't.

All week I taunted downtrodden Bears fans, exalting how insignificant I thought this Sunday's game was. They're starting Gus Frerotte and won't have [a 100%] Adrian Peterson! Brian McKinnie's still suspended and a rookie's going up against Pep! I might not be too embarrassed to wear his jersey! I said.

Then I wore my Panthers undershirt for the first time this season, watched my first game without my Goose (Ricky, a transplanted diehard Cardiac Cat lover, spent the day of the Emmys at Leonardo DiCaprio's house filming celebrity Obama endorsements. Ricky's priorities are incredibly out of whack. He wrote jealously...) and I totally forgot about Jared Allen. Apparently, the Panthers did the same thing. Not film Obama endorsements. Forget about Jared Allen.

Brethren covered the game too well for me to talk about it, so I'll just say this:

After Johnathan Stewart scored his third touchdown in 2 weeks (while remaining on my fantasy bench) I picked up the Panther bucket I had and beat it ferociously as my velcro Sir Purr hung from my neck. After an appropriate amount of elation, a young woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder. She stated simply, "My uncle played for the Panthers, and I gotta say, you rock. I miss good ol' Panther fans."

"Whose your uncle?" I asked.

"Rodney Peete."

Had I my digital camera, a lithograph, or the syrup-based artistic skills of Jean-Michel Basquiat I would've done something to keep that moment forever. We talked about how without Peete's guidance, there would be no Jake Delhomme and how meaningful and significant his time there was. I don't remember her name because I was drunk on power and Bud Light by then, but she was a Bengals fan and a pretty cool chick to say the least.

Anyway, I hear the Panthers are playing next week, so that's what I'm focusing on. The Dirty Birds look decent this year, but the guy who traditionally beats the shit out of us won't be starting this week (pulled hamstring. Also, he's in prison.) so there's a chance we can pull this out. It'd be a solid win and a great start to a semi-home stand.
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Week 2: Rock N Roll

Nacho: Anyone who read our Panthers preview is probably smugly smiling today, and probably a little richer. Which, I hear, could prove better for the ol' wallet. I'm not advocating gambling on sports, but it just feels a little safer these days.

I returned to my Panther headquarters out in Hollywood this weekend. The most ADD environment one can possibly watch football: Big Wangs. 42 flat screens showing every game being played. We camped out between Lions fans, Colts fans and a few shifty-looking Bears fans.

The game started, we ate humble pie, things looked about as good as they have at home for the past couple years. By halftime I was on the receiving end of some pretty pointed barbs and hilarious insults. I chomped on my barbeque chicken wings and smiled with sauce in my beard: the game is sixty minutes long, kids. Why does every team in the NFL not get this? We're the Panthers. We don't play for three quarters, we play the whole damn game.

Anyway, two more towers of beer and a cheese pizza later the Panthers had eked out another victory, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. There truly isn't a more anti-climactic ending to a pro game than four knees taken, but hey, a W is a W.

For the record, I'm getting a ton of de ja vu recently: in 2003 there was a shitty, war-mongering president named Bush in office and no one could beat the Panthers in the fourth quarter. Welcome back, Cardiac Cats.

and now, for something completely similar...



Nacho cont'd: Jonathan Stewart taught me a valuable lesson about not starting him in my fantasy leagues, and I have a feeling the phrase "Pass intended for Mushin Muhammed" was not said over the PA system nearly as much as last week. The turning point in the game, the moment that made me turn to all those probably-felonious Bears fans and say, "Oh dear, you don't have a chance, now," was when Jake was spearheaded by a Bear defensive back, sprang up, threw off his helmet and started pounding his chest. Minutes later Beason made a spectacular tackle and started slapping his own chest. These two unbridled displays of enthusiasm and testosterone sealed the deal for the Cats.

One last note: Darius Rucker sang the national anthem yesterday. The two other previous times he's sung it, the Panthers have made the post season. These are the things that matter, people.

Brethren: Week Two didn't have the heart-stopping drama like the Week One victory over San Diego did. But it certainly was a roller coaster, and it took me though all the highs and lows of a Carolina Panthers win. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, and all I did was scream at a TV and drink beer made from the Rockies.

It was an awesome comeback win -- done without our best player, the suspended Steve Smith. I am downright giddy we've got him coming back next week; as Jake said, "we've got our rocket back."

And now to the Brethren patented bulleted thoughts:
- The first half was downright sloppy. I really don't understand the outrageous amount of false starts. I seem to remember at least six. Not cool. Not cool.

- We need a nickname for Jonathan Stewart. Two weeks in, and he's nickname-worthy. I love that he has stated his goal of trying to become the "greatest running back in NFL history." That's badass. And not even remotely outrageous.

- Moose was huge today, and has been a big reason this team has gotten out to a 2-0 record without Steve Smith. What a veteran, a leader. I love the guy. Feels right to have him back.

- The Cap't bought a BeasTON black jersey today. It was an awesome sign for another banner day from the second-year defensive stalwart.

- Chris Harris, at it again with the forcing of the fumble. He is the awesome. Rock.

- Minnesota scares me a bit, as they'll be a desperate 0-2. But fuck that, they should be scared we're getting Steve Smith back. Rock.
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And Heeeere We Go.

Brethren: My brother, aka Nacho aka Smokey aka the most hilarious guy I know, just sent me that text message. He's en route to the Whale's Vagina as we speak, and I'm waking up, trying to understand why my head and right fist hurt, but not caring. I have a bar to get to; Smokey has a game to go to.

Because that time is here: the Carolina Panthers play a motherfucking football game today.

And this time, it counts. See you after the Cats do their thang.
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It's July! Football's Coming Soon! FRONT FOUR Edition

Brethren: Three days into Training Camp, and I’m in hook, line, and sinker. On a car trip back from Charlottesville to DC yesterday (after a most wonderful drunken weekend of tubing, crushing the Virginian, and hitting the Mediocre Restaurant Heaven that is Cville), I spent a solid two hours on my buddy’s iPhone reading all the updates from Chaz Chandler and the Charlotte.com boys I could get my hands on. I have to say: I like what I’m hearing so far. The Thomas Davis quote about the Thunder/Lightning combo of Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams brightened my day. Reading the story about Jake doing his fiery Cajun thing and yelling at O-Linemen after a busted play got me excited. Seeing Steve Smith blatantly voice his dislike of training camp even got a rouse out of me. All of it sounded good to me.

Then I saw Chaz is reporting that this team has a positive vibe going for it, that they’re loose and excited to be playing football. That’s when I knew: let’s keep this momentum going.

So, I’m back at the helm today, sitting down to break down maybe the most significant unit on all the team: the Panthers D-Line. Once feared and revered, the Front Four needs to answer a lot of tough questions this 2008 season. What the fuck happened to Pep last year and can he come back? Are we going to miss Kris Jenkins more than we expected? Is having Mike Rucker not around going to affect us? Has Maake eaten any babies recently?

We attempt to answer these questions, and more, desde:


Brethren (cont’d): As I mentioned Saturday, the Fox/Hurney Era has been about making a claim for a dominant Front Four. Some years, it’s more bark than bite, but cotdamn, they try to go big or go home every year. What’s the 2008 edition look like?

The Starters
Julius Peppers, RDE: I don’t think there was anyone who summed up last year more than Pep. After a huge stastical 2006 campaign, he mysteriously disappeared in 2007. 2 ½ sacks? Are you kidding me? He’s a phenomenal athlete, and he claims he wasn’t sick or injured and refused to give excuses.

Well, what the fuck then, Pep? What gives? Your double-teams waned as the season went on and the production wasn’t there, in terms of stats. And any explanation we get is that stats don’t tell the whole story; that’s the company line from Pep, Hurney, and Fox. Well, they know more about football than me, so when they say that Pep’s still affecting the game, that he contains the outside, can force a running play inside, and limits the other team’s playbook with his presence, I’ll believe them. On the other hand, stats might not tell the whole story, but they tell a pretty damn big story, because they reflect production, as much as any piece of measurement can. So while I love the big fella and I rock his black #90 jersey every week, I want to see him making Pep plays and having Pep stats this year.

I want to see him bat a ball mid-air, pick it off, and stiff-arm a fullback on his way to the end zone. I want to see two blocked kicks in one game. I want to see him run down a LDT-type back. I want to him to single-handedly save a victory for us.

So yes, those are my expectations. He was the #2 draft pick, an athlete unlike any other to come through Charlotte. And it hurts that much more when he doesn’t meet them because we all know he can do it. We’ve seen it before; we want more than anything to see it again on his way to taking us to the Promised Land.

But better yet, the past two days have seen reports floating out of camp that Pep looks better than ever, that he looks on the verge of breakout year. He isn't talking to the media, and he's got a sick beard. I'm convinced: Make it happen, Pep. As you go, we go. Put us on your back, Big Cat.

Maake Kemoeatu, DT: One of the largest Panthers ever. I have enjoyed his presence, depsite never knowing how much he actually affects the game. He's not a pass-rushing DT so he doesn't pile up the sacks, but he takes up a lot of space, so I'm down with that.

Damione Lewis, DT: The returning sacks leader for the Panthers, Lewis is reported to have taken on a more vocal leadership role now that Jenkins is gone. I don't know really know what that means, but hey, I'll take it. Maybe more vocal means more production? Sure.

Tyler Brayton, Charles Johnson, and Stanley McGlover: The three dudes fighting it out for Peppers' old Left End spot. McGlover's got the crazy long hair, the Panthers hope Johnson becomes the next Mike Rucker (even with the Georgia lineage) and Brayton's an athletic dude. Of course, it won't really matter if Peppers has the crazy year we all want him to have, then the other guy should have some great opportunities.

From there, we got some rookies and others. But seriously, the time is now for Peppers to take over the D-Line. He's in his 7th year and it's time to start owning this line.

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It's July! Football's Coming Soon! LINEBACKERS Edition

Brethren: Well, lassies and lads, we are but a few scant days from the beginning of training camp and with it, the coming of the glorious 2008 NFL season. I wrote nearly two weeks ago that Nacho and I would be rolling out our Panthers season preview, and I intend to honor that. So since we already covered that we’re of the mindset that Jake’s our QB, let’s take a look at the group of on-field leaders on the other side of the ball.

LINEBACKERS:
Overall, this looks to be the stacked part of the defense. The depth is there, the young legs are a plenty and the head-hunters are there. On paper, this is a fearsome group. It’s interesting because in the Fox/Hurney Era, so much emphasis has been placed on the D-Line and they always seem to just plug in a decent veteran here or there along with a 1st/2nd rounder to hold down the LB fort. This year’s group harkens back to the days of Sam Mills, Lamar Lathon, Michael Burrow, and Kevin Greene, back to the Dom Capers Era. If there was anything I liked about that era, it was the players that wore jerseys in the 50s: they were a badass bunch.

The 2008 linebacking corps is starting to inspire that same kind of confidence in me as a fan. The voice inside me that says, these guys will stop a 225-lb running back train on a dead stop, pick off a rope to a TE over the middle, and blitz the fuck out of the pansy-ass quarterbacks that make up the NFC South. Fuckin a.

Full breakdown desde:


Brethren (cont'd): We take a player-by-player look at the LB Corps:

The Starters

Jon Beason, MLB (aka Jon BEASTon): Great Googily Moogily. We haven’t seen a rook step in, look around, notice the desperate need for football plays to get made, and just go do them like that since a 3rd round receiver out of Utah came in with a chip on his shoulder. I remember last summer liking the fact that BEASTon wore the #2 in college, and that was about it. I was still holding out hope for the now-retired Dan Morgan and I was wondering if we’d get some production out of Beason when Morgan went down in Week 6. I had no clue we’d be getting a really good middle linebacker.

Nai’l Diggs, OLB: The one guy who fits the Fox/Hurney “veteran” plug characterization, but that’s only at the surface. This man continues to make plays from the outside and will make at least one play a game that can turn a casual fan to me and say, “wait who the fuck made that hit?” Plus, absolutely stellar name.

Thomas Davis, OLB: The young head-hunter who kept getting swapped between linebacker and safety early in his career seems to have settled in at the OLB position. I remember when the Panthers drafted him pretty much to play “spy” on Michael Vick back when Vick was terrorizing the Panthers (and not pit bulls). Well, after moving out of that specialty, he’s become a ferocious OLB. The Charlotte media has wondered aloud for many seasons that the former first-round draft pick wasn’t living up to his potential. While he didn’t have the early impact BEASTon did, Davis is still a man on the outside. If he continues to improve, he could take this group to another level.

The Bench
Landon Johnson, LB: He led the Bengals in tackles the past two-three years, and he won’t crack our opening day starting line-up, if everyone’s healthy. An ultra-productive linebacker, he will lead the bench and can easily fill in at all three positions should one of the three starters go down. His signing was a very savvy Fox/Hurney move that characterized the under-the-radar, but aggressive offseason those two directed.

Dan Connor and Tim Shaw, MLB: Two former Penn State ‘backers, their presence on the team gives my buddy Big Mike an instant erection. Connor is a potential huge steal from the draft, as some say he’s even better than Paul the Polack up in Buffalo that came out of Penn State in 2007. Connor is definitely going to push BEASTon to make sure there’s no sophomore slump from him. Shaw’s another young hard-hitter and his Linebacker U pedigree gives him a nod from me; if we can get some stellar special teams plays out of these him, I’d be excited.

Adam Seward, LB: Scrappy dude. Never gonna be a starter, but mops up special teams duty and seems just crazy enough to enjoy it.

Brandon Jamison, Donte Curry, LB: Never heard of either of them, but they have names that J. Price and I would have recruited hardcore during our dominant NCAA Football 2006 UVA dynasty days. Side note: playing that game on Dynasty with a college roommate as a team effort might be one of the most awesome things to do. Receiving text messages during class letting you know that the 5-star QB out of Cali named Eddie Cannon just signed is one of life’s unheralded treasures. We also rushed for over 3,000 yards in one season with Mikell Simpson (the same 3rd-stringer who became the real UVA’s go-to running back last year). Damn, this makes me miss college. A lot.

And Just Because I Still Want Him To Be Around:
Mark Fields, OLB: This dude beat cancer and, with Sam Mils, inspired the 2003 Super Bowl run. He was crazy fast and would definitely put Reggie Bush’s 3.3-year-per-carry ass in his place. Well, guess that job falls to BEASTon now.


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It's July! Football's coming soon!

Brethren: Is it really July 11th? That means football is nary but a few scant weeks from training camp, which means the Panthers are that much closer to my life, which means a very real and important part of my being becomes a little more alive.

And fortunately for the Brethren, the Carolina Panthers have more than enough going on where their name gets brought up in all sorts of media conversations.

First off, there's the Favre thing. Now he's not my one true hate -- which may be one of the most thoroughly readable, relatable, and enjoyable columns about the goodness of hate ever -- but he's certainly not my starting quarterback. And this is important: I think I can say for most Panthers fans, that "Brett Favre making Brett Favre plays" is not what we want come September when we take the field for the first time in 2008 in the Whale's Vagina.

I want Jake Delhomme feeling spry as the chicken that becomes the delicious Bojangles' chicken biscuit. Dammit, Jake's our Biscuit Avenger! He's our boy to love unconditionally. He may not be the best quarterback out there, but fuck it, he's ours. He's fiery. He's Cajun. He and the most talented, tenacious player on our team, Steve Smith, have a great relationship -- on the field and off. He's taken us to the Super Bowl (when was the last time Favre did that?). Our team fell apart last year without him. He has earned the right to be the starting quarterback of this team.

So no, Brett Favre, you are not welcome to come in and try to fuck that up. I'll gladly take you as long as you know you're second fiddle to Jake Delhomme. Yes, Mr. All-Time TD and Passing Yards Record Holder, if you dare come here, you dare to hold a clipboard.

This is Jake's team.

More Panthers musings, desde


Brethren: Ugh, glad we got that out of the way. Fortunately, there's even more to talk about the Panthers. Like, for instance, the 2008 season!

It's fucking sweet the season's right around the corner. And while that might not technically be true because we're still a solid 8 weeks away from a meaningful game, it definitely is that part of the year where my brain says, "Oh shit, is that the hot July air I smell? That means football players should be sweating in Spartanburg soon!"

Nacho and I will be rolling out our full Panthers previews in the coming weeks, but rest assured, this team is on our minds. The Panthers historically play best when no one expects them to do well -- which is why I hated this software -- but we're getting to the point that, as we enter the 14th season of this franchise's history, I enter July honestly believing we're winning it all.

Because the Panthers will. They've got Jake at QB, Smitty and Moose out wide, a barn full of speedy, hard-hitting linebackers, the sleeping giant that is Pep, a bruising rookie RB to complement the speedy and fantastically mustiachoed DeAngelo Wiliams, and the Fox/Hurney era with a sense of urgency ne'er seen before. Yes, ladies and gents, 2008 is the year the Carolina Panthers will dominate the NFL.

Welcome to it.

Nacho: I"m gonna let y'all in on a lil secret. Ever since Football ended, I still get up redonkulously early on the weekends. Why? Through the magic of transference I've redirected my love of the pigskin, into a love of the Food Network. Seeing as how ESPN will shove this Favre silliness down our throats for the next four weeks, I figure I'll need something to keep me occupied. Take that ESPN; my ass belongs to the Neelys!

Luckily, my fattening infatuation will pass soon and I can get back to the real work at hand, blindly loving the greatest football squad in all the land. As an added bonus, it would appear yours truly will be in attendance for the season opener, seeing as how Komrad Goodell was nice enough to ask the Panthers to come out to San Diego for week 1. Don't think for a second I've forgotten all those Panthers/Redskins games where Norv was at the helm. First guarantee of the season: Panthers beat the Chargers in their own house. Take that to the bank!

There's lots to cover over the coming weeks, and you can rest assured the Brethren are on top of it all. Favre's welcome to come to Carolina, as long as he's only employed after The Defender of Fresh Biscuits goes down. Not unlike poo, he's number two.

Strap in and enjoy an overflowing amount of coverage of a small market team with few ties outside of the geographical headquarters.

And now, there's much to do before I head out to go see the one and only Ricky Gervais.
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