Bobcats Gone A-Boykin'

Nacho: All you folks jawing about my visit to Staples can pipe down for a short bit, I'll get to it as soon as I'm able. In other news, today the Bobcats signed Earl Boykins for the rest of the year. I, for one, greet our Boykin overlords and look forward to months of petty puns. I felt Herr Boykin got the shit end of the stick in the Allen Iverson trade, so it's good to see him land on his feet.

Besides, if Charlotte's gonna have professional basketball team, it damn well better have a diminutive point guard leading the squad. Can Earl be the second coming of Muggsy? We'll see. In the meantime, we'll just go ahead and ignore the fact that Brad freaking Miller put up 20+/20+ on us.

Brethren's thoughts a la carte, after...

Nacho cont'd: Thanks to our friend Doogz for the head's up that JJ's getting testy in Orlando.

Brethren: If we were going to fill that last open roster spot and it's not gonna be a big guy to help our thin front line, I'll take a 5'5 point guard any day of the week. Especially the Boynk. I mean, he's smaller than me! And he's in the NBA! What could possibly get better!?

Anyone who can invoke Muggsy is good in my book and helping mentor Ray Ray should be good, although I don't know if I want Earl's shoot-first mentality to rub off on Ray Ray. I do lurve me some Muggsy though. For a solid few years until I was about 16, I thought I could be a solid point guard despite the fact that I was 5'8 and a stiff wind could blow me over. I'm pretty sure Muggsy was the only reason I thought that. And if the Bobcats now have a diminutive point guard who inspires white suburban Charlotteans to think they too can have success in the game of basketball, well, that's just aces.



picture ht: SportsBastards. Nice name.
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Hell's Coming With Me!!!

Nacho: A quick reminder: Tomorrow night, Monday the 28th, "Charlotte is FREE." I'll be heading down to Staples Center, with some amazing seats.

My expressed, written goals include:

- A Bobcats win. (This will not be difficult; especially with The Caveman still injured.)

- Drink heavily. (This will be the only thing easier than beating the Clippers.)

- Get a picture with Adam Morrison. (I want this more than a Bobcats win.)

- To be Bill Simmons's huckleberry, and act like Daniel Plainview when his parenting is impugned. Simmons, if you don't recall, denies our existence like a Midwestern school board does evolution. Seriously, I'm gonna treat him like Kurt Russell does Billy Bob Thornton. You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?

Supercool video, after...

Nacho cont'd: I don't know who posted this, but god bless 'em. I'm fairly certain this is footage from the Hornets game I attended. I'll look over it a few more times to determine if my pixle-y ass is in there. (Update: nope. Opposite end of the court.)


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The Calm Before the Storm

Brethren: The Bobcats are not unlike Fievel at the beginning of his American Tail sequel, all anxious and ablaze about following the setting sun for the first time in the 2007-2008 NBA season. After taking care of the Bulls last night in Chicago (who were without their top two scorers), the Cats have pulled over .500 in their last 11 gaves, at a cool 6-5. The five losses came to teams at the top of league: New Orleans, San Antonio, Dallas, and bonus-basketball losses to Detroit and Cleveland.

The wins were of note, too. At Boston. Home versus Denver. Home versus Orlando. The other three were against teams they should be beating: New Jersey, Memphis, at Chicago.

So while I am enjoying the baby-steps success, and we're seeing some good things like quality wins at home, pulling out games on the road, the thing is I just think we've put ourselves in too deep a hole. We can dig ourselves out, we just have to prove that our recent stretch of play is more indicative than our season road record, a not-so-cool, 3-13.

A more in-depth look at the upcoming scheduel, and some Nacho toppings, desde

Brethren (cont'd): So while I'm uber-excited to see the ACC Tournament in its rightful home of Charlotte, NC, all the college basketball events we've got going on that take up Charlotte Bobcats Arena, it puts the team on the road for the majority of the rest of the season.

Of course, we start out tonight with a very winnable game at home versus Philly. The Sixers are actually worse than the Bobcats, sitting at 16-28 (versus the Cats' 17-26 record). Of course, winnable games and real wins are two different things, as if Philly hadn't played Charlotte this year, they'd only be 14-28 (clever way of saying the Bobcats haven't beaten the Sixers this year).

So after that, we have nine games before the All-Star break, six of them on the road (at Clips, Sacto, GS, PHO, Denver, and Detroit). And at the end of the day, we're 1 game out of the 8th spot in the Leastern Conference. So as we trek westward like young Fievel, which Bobcats team will we be bringing? The surging Cats, winners of 6 of their last 11, with wins over some quality opponents? Or the young team on the road who has amassed 3 road wins in 16 games away from home this year?

Nacho: I'm agree and empathize with Brethren: while our Cats are improving at the usual incremental place, I still don't see any leaps and bounds being taken any time soon. They've put together some impressive wins, but I don' have the confidence in them night after night. They're Jekyll and Hyde, and only one of those personalities wins games.

I will go out on a limb and gaurantee a Bobcats victory this upcoming Monday against the Clippers. The reason: I will be intimidating the eff out of every Clippers player. Riddle me this: the Bobcats are an even .500 when I witness games, and with that kind of science and statistics behind, they're sure to win. Take it to the bank.

As for the Bobcats, don't expect any post-season action any time soon, but as Simmons perpetually prophesizes, one of the years, the Bobcats are going to be a team to be reckoned with.
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Primary Pants Party: Now With Video

Nacho: Just a quick update, because our friend Alexis made up this video for a party entirely unrelated to the Primary Pants Party coming up in a few weeks. It's sports related because it's got the MNF music all up in it.

Don't forget to vote, now, kids. February 5th is Super Tuesday.



Pretty sw33t, right? Anyway, just a reminder: Pants Party's two weeks from tonight. Get yer salsa on, after....




I feel like I've been duped into a Jennifer Lopez basketball movie.
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We Are All Giants Fans

Brethren: The greatest weekend of the NFL season is over, and a great thing has happened. We have the battle lines drawn, the sand has been kicked away by a dragging ankle, the war paint has been applied. Good. Versus. Evil.

In the early afternoon game, Momma and I shared a table at a nearby sports bar with some North Kakkalak kindred. They were NC State/Meredith grads and therefore were rooting for Marmalard. I was okay with that, because I was obviously rooting against the Pats. We also enjoyed their company, because all North Carolinians know each other, we of course had several mutual friends. In fact, my mom's god-daughter (my god-sister?) was the Meredith grad's "role model" in college. So we had that going for us.

Beyond that, Evil set the table. They didn't allow a touchdown, and they weathered a bad Tom Brady day. And so doucheness marches on to Glendale.

In the second game, either team would have easily sidled into the "Good" role for me. We had either the most statistically relevant QB of all time or Elisha.

I went into the game thinking I was going to root for Fav-re no matter what. Brett Favre was gonna make Brett Favre plays all day and that was going to be good enough for me to be happy for the Packers to assume the "Good" role against the Evil Pats.

Little did I know Elisha would steal my heart.


Brethren (cont'd): Dear Lord, am I really an Eli Manning fan now? I didn't want to be. Not at all. But I couldn't help but find myself rooting for him as the game went on.

He played better. He made smart decisions. He didn't throw his girly, wobbly, non-spirals. He lead his team, his receivers, his defense, the New York Giants. He weathered two missed FGs and was the quarterback, the leader, of a team that pulled together a true team effort in -4 degree weather.

It was one of the most emotionally invested I've ever been in a playoff game that didn't involve the Panthers. Holy fuck.

So Elisha's our representative of Good. Dreamboat is the representative of Evil. Like I said, the battle lines are drawn.

Fuckin A. As Lt. Pete Webb told me tonight, "Here. We. Go."

We Are All Giants Fans.

Nacho: With four seconds remaining, I turned to Jersey, the resident Giant fan on Big Wangs staff and announced with assured aplomb, "Game over, Tynes's got this." When Larry shanked it, I remembered I had money on the Packers, and thus, this was a good thing. I was happy. And drunk.

I'm not as gung-ho about Elisha as Brethren, though. He still reminds me of every kid I ever played against in JV football, and not in a good way. It's his nose, it's just way too fucking big. I want to punch it. The way he moves his mouth in post-game interviews makes me want to slap him. You can tell he breathes primarily through his mouth. But damnit, the guys 9-1 on the road, and that loss was Week 1 to the Cowboys, in which, if I remember correctly, it was a pretty close game.

So while I'm not sure I would've survived two weeks of Brady/Favre lovefests, I'll watch with mild amusement at the shellacking the Pats will give the Giants in Glendale next month. I'm still not as filled with vitriol as most folks are with the Pats, I'd admire them even if I don't like them. We're watching a historic team, and that's pretty cool.

Well, the streets of LA were pretty barren this morning because of MLK Day, and the sky's looking dreary, a perfect setting for the saddest day of the year, in my opinion. I always hate the Conference Championship weekend, because it means football, and my reason for getting up in the morning, is going away. The season's too short, the offseason too long, and damnit, I'm not ready for it to be over.
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The Bobcat Deb Ball

Nacho: Since the Associated Press is totally bias when it comes to photos of tonight's 119-116 win by the Bobcats, I'll just post this nice picture of Charlotte Bobcat Arena.

It's time people: our breasts are budding, our dresses show off our onion booties, and we're winning games against tough opponents. Heck, even when we don't win, we come damn close. It's time for the Charlotte Bobcats to attend the Deb Ball..



Nacho cont'd: Bill Macy describes his occupation in David Mamet's "Things Change" by calling himself "the guy behind the guy, behind the guy." That's what this team feels like. We're not gonna make any noise in the post-season this year, but we've put together more quality wins in 37 games to call this season a success. I'm not sure who the Don Ameche is in this analogy, maybe the Heat. They seem pretty lost every night.

Anyway, this squad seems to be welcoming itself into society, like a dolled up Southern belle. We're asking the big scary guys (Detroit, Boston, etc.) to boogie, then showing them dances Daddy doesn't know about. That's right, we gots moves:



Brethren: This team is finally resembling some of those Bernie Bickerstaff teams from the first three years, with one major difference: playmakers at the end of the game.

A staple of those first three years is that we could sneak up on superior teams (read: nearly everyone) and hang with them through three and a half quarters. Most nights, we'd fail in the end and bemoan that we didn't know how to win. And believe you me, that's still a problem these days.

But last night showed that on an off-night, Jason Richardson is not afraid to take big shots. Gerald Wallace has the confidence to hit a 3 with the game under two minutes, as well as play at an All-Star level. And the defense shut them down when it was needed.

Sure, it's a long trek even to make it back to .500. But this stretch in 2008 has certainly been their best basketball to date.
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It's the Primary Pants Party Y'all!

Nacho: Tuesday, February 5th will be a day that lives in famy. It's the biggest day of Primary Season, Super Tuesday, it's the night Will Leitch will be in town, and best of all, since it's Tuesday that means one thing:

Presidential politics and Star Power,
a winning combination.

Details, after...


The editor of Deadspin and Ron Paul need no introduction, so here's the skinny:

Payin' the Billz

Starting at 7pm on Tuesday Mr. Leitch will be earnin' dem ducats at Book Soup bringing joy and wonder to the ennui-ridden sports fans of Los Angeles.

After the Show, It's the After-Party

Head over to Big Wangs Wings in Hollywood. It's one block North of the Arclight Cinerama dome and Good Tunes Haven, Ameoba Music. The tvs will be showing exit poll results, Andrew Bynum recovery updates, and, on the big screen by the bar, the ever-growing, ever-impressive Guitar Hero tournament. Watch, as the country starts down either a dark, sullen path or blazes a new trail to change....while absolutely owning some jerk playing "Sweet Child of Mine".

So c'mon down and join us. Wangs is the epicenter for all your sporting entertainment needs in LA, with HD TVs o' plenty, a big ass Wheel of Booze, and we might even break out the Beer Battleship board. The Royal We is coming: mother's hide your daughters.


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