Showing posts with label Sports Illustrated sucks balls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sports Illustrated sucks balls. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Week 14: A Historically Good Night


Brethren: Who did what to the what now? The Carolina Panthers rushed for nearly 300 yards and 4 touchdowns against a run defense that had previously given up 1 rushing touchdown over the entire 2008 season? These little, old, barely-beating-the-Lions-and-Raiders Carolina Panthers? The ones no one at Sports Illustrated thought could hold the jock strap of the mighty and fierce Tampa Bay Bucaqueers? Surely you jest -- it simply cannot be!

I jest motherfucking not.

On the biggest stage in football, under the brightest lights a young swash-buckling town like Charlotte could produce, the Carolina Panthers pulled away from their most hated rival in complete and utterly dominating fashion, winning Monday night 38-23, behind a historically good running game. First place in the toughest division in football? For now. First place in all the NFC? Could be.

Monday night was a night that allowed Panthers fans to dream big, as big as a NFL fan can dream. It had everything you'd come to expect from a crushing Panther victory: sacks and big plays by Peppers and Beason; plays that make you curse and love Jake Delhomme; big catches for first downs and touchdowns by Smitty; and now, an absolutely dominant run game. We'll breakdown more desde:

Brethren (cont'd): Some patented bulleted Brethren thoughts:

- If the NFC Pro Bowl team doesn't contain someone off this Carolina Panthers offensive line, it would be a sore oversight. My vote right now would be for LG Travelle Wharton -- that man has been playing great football. Last week in the Green Bay game, beyond his blocking, he hustled and recovered the Stewart fumble 40 yards past the line of scrimmage. This week, it seemed like every big DeAngelo and Stewart run (which happened, oh, every other rushing play) was one where Big T was pulling left or right. Here's a guy who was the starting left tackle last year -- the premiere position on the O-Line -- and he moved inside to left guard during the offseason as Silver Fox and Hurney revamped the starting five to be as mammoth as possible. Wharton didn't see it as a demotion or anything like that -- he embraced it and now is playing as noticeably good as a left guard can play.

- The big knock on the Panthers offense is that it's always too one-dimensional. Who do they have beyond Steve Smith? And if we run the ball well, it's well, that's just what John Fox likes to do. Please: this offense is plenty explosive, but strives for a balanced, dagger-esque identity. Last night, that's exactly how they played.

- Seeing the run game dominate like this made me realize the Silver Fox is just trying to not have to rely solely on Jake to win a game. It can and has been done -- but we're much better off not having to have Jake force things, like he did several times Monday night. Great games by Smitty and Moose though.

- The pass defense still seems too vulnerable to the big play, but I think that's the nature of the aggressive, blitz-heavy Carolina D. We have faith to put the corners on an island, and last night, that almost bit us too many times. But ultimately, the superior pass rush and pressure won out.

- One more home game, next week against the AFC West-leading Denver Broncos. Get that win, go 8-0 at home, and start prepping for D-day against the Super Bowl champs on the road for a real test of character. Let's keep this motherfucking train going.

Nacho: Shortly after the Panthers dispatched of the Bucs our mom texted me to say "Peter whoever eat shit!!!" It was her use of coarse language, not to mention three exclamation points, that tipped me off that she was fired up. Smitty's third quarter foot-draggin' TD was made right in front of her. It felt good knowing a family member was getting to witness this remarkable night in person.

This was the game our entire season had been leading up to. Steve Smith said in the locker room after the game that he'd like to keep things the way they are. He meant this in relation to the way the media views this Carolina squad. As Brethren pointed out, no one in the sports media feels necessarily moved by the Cats, and refuse to give them the time of day. If there's one through line sentiment that connects the Super Bowl 2003 squad and this one, it's the enormous chip on both's shoulders. Both's? Boths? Weird.

Last night was magical, it was cathartic, and most of all, it was impressive. Now it's time to move on. The Giants game doesn't exist yet. There is only one thing that should be on everybody's mind right now:


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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Week 11: In Which Sports Illustrated Angers the Sports Brethren


Brethren: Week 11 brought the winless and hapless Detroit Lions to Charlotte (and one special guest to our press box) -- and with the winless Lions came the expectation of a Carolina Panthers blow-out. That didn't quite happen, but the Panthers still came out victorious behind a banner day from the Smash And Dash duo of Jonathan Stewart (15 carries, 130 yards, 1 TD) and DeAngelo Williams (14 carries, 120 yards, 2 TDs) and another beastly day from Julius Peppers, Jon BEASTon, and Thomas Davis. Jake Delhomme and the passing game was still a bit underwhelming, but in the end of the day, we didn't need an A+ game to defeat the Lions.

And that's why I'm not too terribly concerned that the past two weeks, the Panthers have played the two worst teams in the NFL and not looked convincingly great. Sometimes the sign of a good team in the NFL is that even on their off days, they win. The Panthers have played 10 games, and come out on the right side of those 8 times. Only two teams have won more games than the Panthers and 29 haven't.

So what does Sports Illustrated, the national magazine who employs some of the most renowned football minds, think of the Panthers? Let's check out the King of the SI Court:

FUCKING NINTH?? Holy shit, you Favrerian cumguzzler! Yes, yes, we'll get to that.

Maybe the Playoff Picture will be kinder?

OH ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? NOT EVEN MAKING IT?!

Anger personified with Nacho Friendly, desde:


Nacho: Thanks, Seth & Amy, but the Nacho's got this one.

Really, Sports Illustrated? Really?

Both your play-off predictor/goomba Dom Bonvissuto and world-renown Peter King think the Panthers won't see post season play. You looked over your sheet of paper that showed the teams ranked from top to bottom based on their current record, you saw the Panthers sitting there at number three after watching two weeks of admittedly shitty football, and you thought "nope"? Really?

You fellas took some pretty selective ganders at the upcoming schedule, didn't you? Saw a bunch of tough teams and a lot of away games for Carolina and wrote 'em off. Brethren and I both agree Carolina plays proportionally to the talent of their opponent, which would make complete sense for the past 2 weeks and the upcoming four. Peter King completely dismisses the fact that the Dolphins upcoming games include the 49ers, Chiefs, Rams and Bills. Dom thinks the Saints are gonna come out of South. That's some maverick action right there. Did we all just fucking forget about the Bucs defense?

Really?

Here's an idea: watch more fucking football. Think maybe not just drawing conclusions from highlights on The Blitz could do you some good? Step it up, Sports Illustrated, because I want desperately to agree with Nate Silver.

There is a silver lining and that is this: The Panthers always play better with chips on their shoulders. We're best off under the radar, and it would appear that the Main Stream Media has agreed to allow just that. I'd spew more vitriol, but honestly it's not worth my creativity. Let 'em keep thinking we're not hitting our peak at the exact moment the Giants did last year. Part of the problem of employing middle aged people and calling them the best in their fields is that occasionally they'll shit the bed. This would appear to be one of those time.

Onward, to embarrass the Rookie of the Year.

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